Top Jokes
here is a link to the joke
http://miamistreetracing.com/forum/v...d.php?tid=2385
Yo Mamma is so fat she never wakes up on the wrong side of the bed; she wakes up on EVERY side of the bed!
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
1 JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
2 MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
3 HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.
4 HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
5 There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got
1 What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been spotted.
2 How do you drown a blonde?
Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
3 What's the blonde's cheer?
"I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well...
4 What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
Change.
5 How does a blonde moonwalk?
She pulls down her panties and slides her butt along the floor!
1 What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.
2 Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
Because it says on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
3 Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
4 What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
"Nice boobs!"
5 How does a blonde high-5?
She smacks herself in the forehead.
1 What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A Space Invader.
2 What's a blondes' favorite rock group?
Air Supply.
3 What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
The back of her head.
4 Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.
5 What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
1 Why are blondes hurt by people's words?
Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
2 What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?
The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
3 What do you call a blonde behind a steering wheel?
An air bag.
4 Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
5 Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
Because she got an F in sex.
Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker and the other was a homosexual.
The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."
The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice. While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey.
No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
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