What do you call a mouth without any teeth?- Grandma

If men and women had buttons, a man's button panel would look like... A vacuum - "On" and "Off" switch A woman's panel would look like... An airplane. So many buttons...ahhh...where's the mute?!!!

MISSION: GO TO GAP, BUY A PAIR OF PANTS Male Time: 6 min Cost: $33 Mission accomplished? Yes Extra stops: None Female Time: 3 hours 26 min Cost: $876 Mission accomplished? No Extra stops: Macy's, JC Penny, Sears...etc...etc...etc...

Chances of a Man Winning an Argument: Dating: 50% Engagement: 25% Marriage Period: 0%, very rare

Most people worry about getting AIDS from sex. Bill Clinton worries about getting sex from aides.

Did you hear Bill Clinton gave up playing his sax-a-phone? He now plays his whore-monica.

Why does Clinton wants a postage stamp issued in his image? So he gets licked more often.

Why was Monica Lewinsky in the White House after hours? Clinton was showing her the proper way to take "dic"tation.

What's the new name for the place where Bill Clinton does his business? The Oral Office.

What does Monica Lewinsky have on her resume? "Sat on the Presidential Staff"

Why does President Clinton invite so many ladies into his private study? He wants to show them his executive branch.

What's Bill Clinton's favorite movie ? Sex lies and video tape