Is that a mirror in your jeans? Because I can see myself in them.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you fell from heaven. Girl: Aww, did it hurt when you got kicked out of hell? Boy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. Girl: Really? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put F and U together.

1 Why cant blondes make ice cubes? Because they dont have the recipe! 2 Two Blondes were in a car and came to a fork in a road, and the sign said Disneyland left. So they turned around and went home. 3 How do you know when a blonde's been sending e-mail? Envelopes in the disk drive. 4 How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her a blonde joke. 5 Why don't Blondes make good cattle ranchers? They can't keep their calves together.

1 Why did the blonde cross the road? She was tied to the baby that was stapled to the chicken. 2 Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch? Her blinker was on 3 What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear ? Data transfer. 4 What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

Here are some cute things kids thought up when asked to write about the moon (all the spelling mistakes are original!) The moon is a saterlight. A long time ago a big object hit the Moon and some of the moon fell off. If u look through a telliscope you can see big holes. There are big montines on the moon just like on Earth - they are some of the left-overs of the Moon in big lumps Neil Armstrong was the first person to step on the Moon. He had weights in his boots so he wouldn't fall off.

What do starving Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? They are both living off dead Beatles.

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen. A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: What's the shortcut for Undo? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I create a New Document window? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document? A: Don't shake it.

1 What's the advantage of having a blonde as a girlfriend? You get to park in handicapped zones. 2 What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A rebel without a clue. 3 Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses? So they don't crap on the street during parades!

A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. ''If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.'' Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes. Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, ''Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart.''

The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues. In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg's physician comes into his room and says, "Sol, I'm happy to tell you that you are completely well. You have the heart function that you did when you were a fifteen-year-old lad. We're going to send you home tomorrow. You don't have to worry about your heart; do any physical exercise that you like." Mr. Steinberg goes home and that evening is talking with his wife: "Doris, you'll never believe it: I'm completely well. I have no worries w

It was this little girl's first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she replied, "Happy Butt." The teacher said, "Honey I don't think that's your name you need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out." So she went to the principal's office and he asked, "What's your name?" And the little girl said, "Happy Butt." The principal called the girl's mother to get this straightened out once and for all. After getting off the phone he looked at the little girl and said, "Honey, your name's is Gladys, not Happy Butt." The girl then exclaimed, "Glad Ass, Happy Butt what's the difference?"

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. ''You've got to have a room somewhere,'' he pleaded. ''Or just a bed, I don't care where.'' ''Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,'' admitted the manager, ''and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you.'' ''No problem,'' the tired Marine assured him. ''I'll take it.'' The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. ''How'd you sleep?'' asked the manager. ''Never better.'' The manager was impressed. ''No problem with the oth