Here are more funny thoughts from www.crazythoughts.com. Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit? Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down? Why is a square meal served on round plates? Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1? Which way does a compass point in space? Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked? Why do all superheroes wear spandex? If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes? Why did Mary own a

How come only car keys are the only keys with teeth on both sides? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas? When something's funny why is it called a "knee-slapper" when you actually slap your thigh? Why is it that when babies are born they only weigh like 7 lbs yet the mom weighs 30 lbs more? Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back? If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off? Is sign language the same in languages other than English? Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number? Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun siz

If we had a president that was a woman, would her husband be the first man? Why do we have to wait till the water starts boiling before we can put pasta into the water? If a criminal turns himself in shouldn't he get the reward money? Why are blue Christmas lights so popular? Aren't red and green the traditional colors? Why do police officers wear tight clothes and dressy shoes? wouldn't that make them slower when chasing someone? If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? Why do birds bob their heads when they walk? Why is it when we ask for the check in a restaura

Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together? Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another? On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1? Do pigs pull ham strings? Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters? Why do radio operators say "niner" instead of just "nine"? Why do people say heads up when you should duck? Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights? Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone? Why do they call the clock where you punch your time card called a "time" clock? Aren't all clocks "time" clocks? Why does blow and suck mean the same thing when we describe something bei

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime. Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said, "Guess who?" The controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess where!"

1. How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. 2. How many Candains does it take to change a lightbulb? One to whack it out with his hockey stick, and one to screw in the new one. 3. How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? One to screw it in, 2 to support him, and 1 to disagree with his lightbulb approach. 4. How many terrorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 to crash a plane into the lightbulb, and 1 to put in the new lightbulb. 5. How many soccer players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to take out the old one, one to attempt to kick it in to the socket, and one to buy new bulbs after the kicking attemts fail.

When I was younger my father always told me to be more lady like and civil. I decided to teach him a lesson. When we arrived at his mothers house there were donuts on the table. We sat around and talked(and munched) I soon got up to excuse myself saying "I have to pee." Dad reminded me that there was a better way to put that. "I'm sorry" I said "I have to powder my nose like a racehorse."

If you haven't read this joke

Knock-Knock Who's there? Me DUHH!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken!

What did the blonde say to the red head? Nothing. She couldn't remember what she was going to say!

Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Leroy's homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence. 1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody. 2. Dictate - My girlfriend say my dictate good. 3. Income - I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife. 4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose. 5. Rectum - I had two Cadillacs, but my bitch rectum both. 6. Disappointment - My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint. 7. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis. 8. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man, it look fake." He say, "B