Ways To Annnoy Your Roommate Become a mime. Nothing is more annoying than a mime. Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of weeks." Buy some turtles. Paint numbers on their backs. Race them down the hall. Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring you food.

Ways To Annoy People In The Computer Lab Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking. Light candles in a circle around your terminal before starting. Play "Pong" for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

Ways To Annoy People On The Subway Stand in front of the doorway and glare at people when they try to get by. Constantly ask people for directions. Don't take a shower for a month. Tell the people your problems. They really want to know.

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day." Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address or

How many rich people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They hire people to do it for them.

A blond and a red-head were planning to go to an amusement park. When they got to the park the blond asks, "who will pay, You or me?". So the red-head says, "I'll tell you what, you'll pay for entrance, and I'll pay for all the rides." (The rides don't cost anything at all!)

There once was a small jokester called Joey, who was visting at his Grandpa's. Now Grandpa was rather short of temper, so after Joey had been standing in the doorway for 5 minutes, trying to decide whether or not to go outside, he said, ''Hurry up, now will you?'' Joey turned around and frowned. ''Keep your hair on,'' he grumbled. Seeing Grandpa's bald head, he giggled, ''Opps! To late!''

In a slave market, an owner is showing his slaves for selling. A man come to the shop and pointing to an American slave and asked, "how much he is?". The owner said, "$100". And the man pioint to a Russian slave, asked again, and the owner reply, "$1000". The man point to Japanese slave, and the owner reply , "$10000". Finally the man point to a African slave and ask the price, the owner reply, "$100000". The customer is confused and ask, "Why that black slave cost too much?". The owner reply, "His brain is still new, he never used his brain". ----------------------------------- I don't mean to make someone feel bad. Coz i am a afro-american :)

What are you laughing at? Your mom is a hooker!

How many feet does a black rooster have? How many wings does a black rooster have? How many heads does a black rooster have? How many hairs are on the back of a white cat? Why is it that you know more about a black cock rather than a white pussy?

Q. What do you call a blond, redneck lawyer? A. Yo Momma!

The best things in life are free and the worst things in life cost only $19.95.