Here's 50 cents call someone who cares

If you can tell time... Why can't you tell that I don't have time for you?

Ever wonder why your ears are where they are? Just think, if they were on your butt, you would have to pull down your pants to hear what I'm saying --REDD FOXX

There once was a girl named Ann Hyser Who claimed that no man could surprise her. But old Pabst made a push at the Schlitz in her Busch and now she is sadder Budweiser! *This joke was made by Bill Klompus* Go Bill!!

There was a stupid boy named Max. His dad wanted to see what he would do if he gave him a dollar, so Max's dad gave him a dollar the next day. Max was so excited. As he walked to school that day, the dollar in his hand, a little girl came up to him and said, "I will give you 2 shiny quarters for that dollar." Max figured that 2 was better than 1, so he willingly traded. When Max reached the school, a little boy came up to him and said, "I'll give you 3 dimes for those 2 quarters." Max traded again. Then his teacher came up to him, and knowing that he was so dumb, asked him to trade his 3 dimes for 4 nickels. Again, he traded. As Max was walking home from school that day, a old man came up to

Why did our founding fathers expressed equality, but the constitution says people born in other countries can't be president?

Please tell me how to obey these signs: All Night Dance Club; NO MUSIC ALLOWED Public Stairway; Please do not climb on stairs Country Road; NO PEDESTRIANS OR AUTOMOBILES A room in a touch-an-feel musem; Do not touch A seminar for the deaf; Please listen to others Local bookstore; Feel free to read books in this section, however do not read them in this store A local carpet store completely covered in rugs; Come in! Please do not step on rugs And please tell me who wrote these signs.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world appear weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

What do you get when a dinosuar stubs its toe? A: Stubasaurus

This above a uranal. What are you looking at? The real joke is in your hands!

General Ways to Annoy People Announce when you're going to the bathroom. Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!") ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.

How To Annoy People In An Elevator: Ask, "Did you hear that cable snapping sound?" Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you're on. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.