Q: What's green, fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree, can kill you? A: A pool table.

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place!

Yo mama so ghetto, her wedding cake was made out of cornbread.

1) You're so poor that when somebody rings the doorbell you have to stick your head out the window and yell, "Ding-Dong!" 2) You're so poor that when I asked if I could use the bathroom at your house your mom gave me two sticks, one to hold the ceiling up and one to fight the cockroaches. 3) You're so poor that your house is 5 square yards, one floor and no walls. 4) You're so poor that your house is very dark because you can't afford a light bulb. 5) You're so poor that you live in an out-house.

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he felt crumby.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Zero: For all blondes know, the lightbulb is still burning bright.

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She points him to the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?" He answers, " You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes. She came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers saying, 'It's sooo much cheaper!' So, I figure if I have to roll my own. So does she."

Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A: A quarter pounder with cheese.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. Weight Watchers will meet at 7PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for tests. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the birth of their first child. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread, and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

Q: Why did the scientist install a door knocker on his door and not a door bell? A: He wanted to win the No-Bell (Nobel) prize!

There's a blonde who goes to a pizza parlor. When she orders, she asks for her pizza to be cut up into 6 slices instead of eight. Why? A: She's not hungry enough to eat eight.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Wet. Wet who? Wet me in! It's waining!