Knock Knock Who's there? Bach! Bach who? Bach to work!

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation. "Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."

I was eating a fruit rollup once, you know, with the paper on the bottom...well the instructions were "Do not eat paper." Noooo! I thought the paper was part of the snack!!

what happened to the lost boy? he came to a house and wrote a joke that was exactly like this except in larger font and with a little more umph ya know what i mean a very humerous joke in fact i do believe he is working on more ya know i lied i ain't lost i just like making very very very long jokes sorta like this one ya know what i wrote is called a run on sentence my papa told me about run ons they are fun i can't imagine not having a papa if you don't have one i feel bad for you starting at 'starting' i wrote 100 words thats a lot but still my favorite number is464,546,879,6 but i won't go till there i can't believe i counted my words how nerdy i'm stopping soon wait......... 127 ha buh

Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald, who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base? GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! that's a bit irresponsible, isn't it? GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?" GENERAL REIN

Little Johnny's mother took her 6-year-old son with her to the bank. They were in line behind a rather obese lady. As the mother patiently waited, Little Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, "Hey, Mom, she's really fat." The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his mother and gave an understanding smile. Little' Johnny received a reprimand. After a minute or two, Little Johnny spread his hands as far as they will go and loudly said, "I bet her butt is 'that' wide." At this the lady glared at Johnny. His embarrassed mother severely scolds her son. Again after a couple of minutes Little Johnny stated loudly, "Look how the fat hangs over her belt." The

Little Johnny asks his teacher: "How are the babies made?" Teacher, not wanting to take the responsibility of explaining such a sensitive subject, suggests that he go home and ask his parents. When he gets home, Johnny approaches his father with the same question. His father replies, "Oh! that is a long story, you better speak to mother!" The mother, in her turn, says: "Oh! It is a difficult question, why don't you better speak to granddad!" Grandfather is sitting on a bench in the garden and eating an apple just when Johnny comes up with the same question. And so he tries to explain: "You see, the apple has little seeds; when they are planted, an apple-tree will grow after a while; and

Politians are like constipated people-they're full of shit.

What did the pirate say when he got cold? Shiver me timbers!!!

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side. "Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said. I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers. I love mustard. I had no napkin. I licked it off. It was NOT mustard. No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprin

One day a boy walked in the classroom. The teacher asked him why he was late; he said he was on top of Blueberry Hill. The next boy walked in and the teacher asked him why he was late; he said he was on top of Blueberry Hill. The last boy walked in and the teacher asked him why he was late. He said he was on top of Blueberry Hill. Then a girl walked in and the teacher said, "Let me guess, you're late beacause you were on top of Blueberry Hill". Then the girl said, "I am Blueberry Hill".

A 16-year-old girl bought herself a very tiny bikini. Very proud, she came home and put it on. She then showed her mother how she looked in it. "What do you think mom?" she asked. Her mother replied, "If I wore that when I was your age, you would be 5 years older."