Top Jokes
A kid said "I have a dirty joke; a kid fell in the mud".
Another kid said, "I know a dirty joke; two kids fell into a pile of mud".
Then the other kid said, "Well, I bet I have the dirtest joke of all; 2 pigs fell into a pile of mud and 3 came out!"
A woman hurries home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband says, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she says. "Just get the hell out."
Yo Momma is so fat the other day she was late to work and her stomach was an hour early.
Perhaps the Most Truthful: on Microsoft marketing:
"There won't be anything we won't say to people to try and convince them that our way is the way to go."
Not on his mind while developing Win9X..circa 1981...
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
On the solid code base of Win9X... thanks WPW!
"If you can't make it good, at least make it look good."
from "OS/2 Programmer's Guide" (forward by Bill Gates):
"I believe OS/2 is destined to be the most important operating system, and possibly program, of all time. As the successor to DOS, which has over 10,000,000 systems in use, it creates incredible opportunities for everyone involved with PCs."
Bill Gates, Free Market and the LA Times Tha
Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Corporate America.
1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
5. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
6. Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.
7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
8. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
9. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
10. Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
11. Anything worth fighting for is w
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: You pick it up pull the pin & throw it back.
Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.
Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.
Q: Why don't blonds play frisbee?
A: It hurts their teeth.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do blonde braincells die ?
A: Alone.
Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.
Q: How di
While at work this man heard a very funny knock-knock joke. He told himself, "Although my wife is blonde I'm sure she will get this one!" Upon arriving home that night he proceeded to tell his wife about this joke he had heard. "Knock-knock," he said. She said, "Hold on honey, let me answer the door."
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