A job seeker was interviewing, and the interviewer asked him, "Tell me what is your greatest strength?" The prospective employee said, "Sir, I am a little bit shy, but should I give you my honest answer?" The interviewer says, "Of course, yes. I expect nothing but honesty from my staff." The job seeker says, "Sir, my greatest strength is my wife." The interviewer was quite impressed with the spousal respect of this man, thought he could be a great member of his team, corporate community and he deserved the job. So with an intention of offering him the job soon the interviewer tried to wrap up with the last question, "Tell me now, what is your greatest weakness?" The guy felt encourage

There have been recent terrorist activities in France. Today the had to upgrade their security system from "Run" to "Hide". If things get any worse they'll have to go to "Surrender", and then "Beg for Mercy".

Yo momma so fat she uses a dump truck as a toilet!

yo mom is like a shotgun, one cock and shes ready to blow

Signs in the USA (mostly) In front of a New Hampshire restaurant: "Now serving live lobsters" On the menu of a restaurant: "Blackened bluefish" In a Maine restaurant: "Open seven days a week and weekends." In a New Jersey restaurant: "Open seven days a week and weekends." On the walls of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. -- Sisters of Mercy" On a long established New Mexico dry cleaning store: "Thirty-eight years on the same spot." In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy." In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center" On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal

FUNNY ENGLISH NOTICES AROUND THE WORLD! --------------------------------------- Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up. In a Belgrade hotel elevat

Mary Louise Gilman, editor of the National Shorthand Reporter has collected many of the more hilarious courtroom bloopers in two books - Humor in the Court (1977) and More Humor in the Court, published a few months ago. From Mrs. Gilman's two volumes, here are some transquips: Q. What is your brother-in-law's name? A. Borofkin. Q. What's his first name? A. I can't remember. Q. He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name? A. No. I tell you I'm too excited. (Rising from the witness chair and pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God's sake, tell them your first name! -------- Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York? A. I refuse to answe

SUBJECT: Soap Saga Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned. WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE "FREE" SOAPS WHEN TRAVELLING Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman --------------------------------------------------------

How can you spot a happy motorcyclist? By the bugs in his teeth.

My karma ran over your dogma. Cover me. I'm changing lanes. I'm in no hurry, I'm on my way to work. Hey idiot, hang up! You are driving a car, not a phone booth. Take your time, but hurry. Speed kills, drive slow, get a Honda. 0 to 60... in 15 minutes. If you don't like my driving, stay off the footpath. Why am I the only person on earth that knows how to drive? Forget about world peace... visualize using your turn signal. As a matter of fact, I DO own the road. Evacuate the road!!! STUDENT driving!! Go on speeding, we'll cut you out (of your car ) -- Your Fire Dept. Caution: Driver Sleeping. Don't Think and Drive. Caution I swerve and hit people at random. So many pe

A schoolteacher wanted to show her students how dangerous drinking alcohol could be. She brought a jar of alcohol and an earthworm to class one day to demonstrate its effects. She dropped the worm into the alcohol and it died instantly. She then asked her students what this proved. One student raised his hand and said, "If you drink a lot of alcohol, you won't get worms."

During the Irish Potato famine, a young Irish-Catholic woman was worried about the poverty of her family. She told her parents that she was going to America to seek her fortune. With many tears, they let her go. Years passed, and the woman returned home. She arrived in a private jet, dressed in a gorgeous designer gown, with dazzling, expensive jewelry. Her family was stunned by their daughter's wealth, and a more than a little curious at how she had come by it. The daughter finally confessed. "I hate to tell you this, but the reason I became so rich was because I became a prostitute." Her father immediately collapsed in shock. The doctor was called, and he began to help the man. As the d