If you can run and play any sport while wearing chanclas.... MEXICAN... If your late Tio left you a van and you turned it into a taco vending business, Yes, you're a Mexican. If you pronounce words beginning with the letter "S" by putting an "E" in front of it, (estop instead of stop), big time Mexican. If you call a chair, a sher, you got it.... Mexican. If you have ever hurt yourself and your mamacita rubbed the area while chanting, "Sana, Sana, Colita de rana....." You're Mexican, big time!!! If you have your last name in old English lettering anywhere on your car, truck, or tattooed on your back, Yes!! you ARE a Mexican (proud one too!) If you re

There was a Mexican family living in Mexico. The father of the family wasn't making very much money and he decided that he and his family were going to move to America in order to live a better life, so the family moved to America. The Mexican man didn't found a job there, and his family was starving, so he went outside, climbed a hill, and bent down under a pine tree to pray for God to help his family get through their situation. While he was praying, a black man was coming out of a grocery store on top of the hill. He had a sack in one hand with a wheel of cheese in it. The bag was heavy, and right as the Mexican man was getting up from praying, the bag broke and the wheel of cheese rol

A young girl had just begun to go to a new Christian church group. She had been going for a couple of weeks now, and at one session their leaders were talking about when they found Jesus in their lives. One of her leaders had started saying: "When I was your age, I had just gotten Jesus in my life." She replied, "Well, how long has it been that you have had Jesus in your life?" He replied, "35 years of my life." Then she said,"God Damn, that's a long time"

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

If you want to make someone laugh, use this line: Sorry. say that again. I couldn't hear you over my fart.

One time there was 2 rednecks Bob and John. They were best friends. Bob had just gone bankrupt so he asked John if he could move in with him. Now John didn't have a big house like Bob use to have but agreed to let him stay there till he got out of bankruptcy. The next day when Bob moved in, while at dinner Bob said: "John you know what?" John said:"What is it Bob?" "I thought my house was shitty. Then i came to yours."

How do you know Adam wasnt black? Have you ever tried to take a rib away from a black man? How do you know when Mexicans are illegal? When you scream "La Migra", and everybody is gone in less than a minute. How do you know when a white guy's family is really white? When he tries to be black or mexican.

One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 year old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted living apartment, killing him instantly. She was brought before the court on a charge of murder. The judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense. She began coolly, "Yes, your honor, I figured that at 92, if he could have sex... he could fly!"

Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back!

1.Your tires cost more than your car. 2.You have a motor hanging out of your tree. 3.Your trailer house tires work but your car tires don't. 5.You write the girl of your dreams name on the tower and then the sheriff makes you take your sisters name off of it. 6.You call your undies britches. 7.The whole town is related to you. 8.You got more trailers than cars. 9.You kill your sisters boyfriends because they're trying to take her away from you. 10. Your haven't had "School learning" because you don't now how to count. (You missed that there was no number 4.) Credit to BLUE COLLAR TV

A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife, "Honey, I got a new secretary, and imagine what happened! She's got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it's not a big deal but it feels good." The next day when he came home his wife asks, "How was your day?" The man say, "Fantastic! It's not only her bra that is red and white but also her panties. You know it's not a big deal but it really feels good!" The third day he comes home after work and now the man asks his wife, "And what happened today in your office, honey?" She says, "Oh, nothing special, sweetheart. I got a new boss today. His dick is two inches longer than you

Q: What does Donald Trump say before he lights off a fire work? A:You`re fired!