This joke is kind of dated but it's still funny. Al Gore, Bill, Hilary, and Chelsea Clinton were all riding in the Airforce One. Out of the blue Gore says, "I could throw a hundred, one dollar bills out the window and make a hundred people happy." Bill says, "Well I could throw ten, ten dollar bills out the window, and make ten people very happy." Hilary, not wanting to be left out, says "Well I could throw one, one hundred dollar bill out the window and make one person extremely happy." Chelsea rolled her eyes and said "Well i could throw all three of you out the window and make the whole nation happy!"

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school. (read Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.) Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can't see my license plate. Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time? A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do." Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? A: Your car. Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident? A: Be too sh*t-faced to find your keys. Q: What problems would you face i

When I was in high school I had a friend who had a wooden eye (this was a long time ago). He was very insecure about it. Come senior year he didn't have a date for the Prom. There was a beautiful girl he liked, but had a hairlip (this gave her an extreme lisp) we decided to set them up. He goes up to her and asks her out to the Prom. She said, "Oh, wouldn't I, wouldn't I?" and he said, "Hairlip, hairlip." and they never spoke again.

Ghetto Test If the statement is true add the points in parenthesis to your score. Scoring is given at the bottom of the test. 1. You've ever used an album cover or old envelope for a dustpan. (5 points) 2. You've ever put foil on your TV antennas to get better reception. (8 points) 3. You've ever had to use pliers to turn your TV on. (7points) 4. You had to come in the house when the street lights came on. (6 points) 5. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood. (5 + 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady) 6. If you can count more than five police cars in your neighborhood on a daily basis. (3 points) 7. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt. (3 points for each

What's an innunedo? An Italian hemorrhoid prepareation. What do you call a good looking girl on the campus of Clemson University? A visitor. Iraq, a good place to take a shiite. New rules for poker in Los Angeles -- four clubs beat a king. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them. What's the difference between Gov't bonds and men? Gov't bond eventually mature. What did God say after he created man? "I can do better than this . . ." What's the best thing to come out of a peter? The wrinkles. What's the difference between 'light' and 'hard'? You can sleep with the light on. What's the difference between 'dark' and 'hard'? It stays dark all night. W

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure can pick tomatoes! What's black, has white eyes and knocks on glass? A black in a microwave. Why don't blacks like blow jobs? They don't like any job. What do you call two Vietnamese in a TransAm? The gooks of hazard. Did you hear about the polish Lesbian? She LOVED men. Why are Jewish men circumcised? Jewish women don't buy anything unless it's 20% off! What's the only food that ruins your sex life? Wedding cake. What do you call a Filipino contortionist? A Manila folder. How do you make a black man nervous? Take him to an auction. Did you hear about the two Mexicans who appeared on "That's

It is the year 2032, and a father and his son walk the streets of lower Manhattan. Approaching the site where the WTC used to be in the end of the 20th century, the father sighs and comments, "To think that right here used to be the Twin Towers." The son, not understanding, asks his father "What were the Twin Towers?" The father smiles and looks at the son, and explains, "The Twin Towers were two huge buildings that used to be here until 2001, when the Arabs destroyed them." The son looks up to his father, and asks, "And what are the Arabs?"

A man walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Dave." "Who?" "This guy named Dave. He always did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Dave." "There are always a few clouds over everybody." "Not Dave. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros, too. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star." "He was something, huh?" "Oh, you don't know the half of it. He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich. He said, "Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?" She said "I love it but I have to stop eating it." "Why?" he asked. She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!" "Let me see" he said. "Okay" and she pulled up her skirt. He looked and said, "That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chi

A young woman asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of penises are there?" The mother, surprised, answers, "Well, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" "Yes, dried up and the balls are there for decoration only."

SON SAYS: Daddy, how was I born? DAD SAYS: Ah, well, my son, one day you will need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cybercafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed little virus appeared. And that's the story.

Husband and wife are doing the spring house cleaning. Wife asks husband to hang some new curtain rods, but he can't do it without toggle bolts. He sends her to the hardware store where she asks the man behind the counter for two toggle bolts. He puts them on the counter, then asks, "You wanna screw for these?" "No," she replies, "but I'll blow you for the clock radio on the shelf."