1. M.U.D.D.- Must use Drugs Daily 2. A.D.I.D.A.S.-All day I Dream About Sex 3. P.M.S.- Pretty Mean Stuff 4. F.B.I. Federal Beauro of Idiots 5. C.I.A.-Clueless Idiots Agency 6. N.C.I.S.-Neurologically Challenged Imbocil Society 7. P.h.D. Pretty Happy Dyke 8. U.C.L.A. Unidentified Cunt Lickers Anonymous 9. A.R.A. Agency- Anti Redundancy Agency 10. N.R.A.- Never Redundant Agency

One day a father and his daughter were driving down the street when the father said, "Look! A bunny. Can you say bunny, bu-nny?" "Bunny!" the daughter replied. They suddenly felt the car go over a bump. Then the girl said, " Daddy, its not a bunny anymore." "What is it then?" he asked. The daughter replied, "Can you say roadkill, road-kill?"

A blonde went to her regular plastic surgion one day. When she walked in, he said to her, "What more can I do for you? I have changed your every part of your body that you could think of! I even did your ears!" She replied, "Well, this is kind of embarrasing for me say out loud." The plastic surgion, curious to know what the blonde wanted done, asked, "What is it? You can trust me. She answered shyly. "This morning, while I was looking in the mirror, I noticed that my butt had a huge crack down the middle and i was wondering if you could get me a new one that isn't broken."

A blonde went to the eye doctor one day. She complained to the doctor that she couldn't see and was having a hard time driving because of this. He then told her that she would need glasses. The blond knowing that the glasses would cost a couple of hundred dollars decided to save her money because she remembered she had some at home. She then told the doctor that she had a pair. He said, "OK, wear them all the time." The blonde left and went home. She called the doctor and told him she couldn't see so he scheduled an appointment and told her to bring her glasses so he could see them. The next day the blond came in holding up two drinking glasses to her eyes and told the doctor "I had a hard t

A policeman was on duty when he got a complaint, so he went to go check it out. The complaint was that a sport car had not moved from a corner and was holding up traffic. When he got there, he went to the car and asked the blonde lady in it why she was holding up traffic and not going. She responded well the sign told me to stop but it doesn't want to let me go.

What' did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead, I'll give these two a lift.

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a male farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. Of course the farmer is a blond. :) He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Er... excuse me mister, but what are you doing?" The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks the man, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field!"

Yo momma so stupid, she looked in the Cd player for her cassette tape!

If you can run and play any sport while wearing chanclas.... MEXICAN... If your late Tio left you a van and you turned it into a taco vending business, Yes, you're a Mexican. If you pronounce words beginning with the letter "S" by putting an "E" in front of it, (estop instead of stop), big time Mexican. If you call a chair, a sher, you got it.... Mexican. If you have ever hurt yourself and your mamacita rubbed the area while chanting, "Sana, Sana, Colita de rana....." You're Mexican, big time!!! If you have your last name in old English lettering anywhere on your car, truck, or tattooed on your back, Yes!! you ARE a Mexican (proud one too!) If you re

There was a Mexican family living in Mexico. The father of the family wasn't making very much money and he decided that he and his family were going to move to America in order to live a better life, so the family moved to America. The Mexican man didn't found a job there, and his family was starving, so he went outside, climbed a hill, and bent down under a pine tree to pray for God to help his family get through their situation. While he was praying, a black man was coming out of a grocery store on top of the hill. He had a sack in one hand with a wheel of cheese in it. The bag was heavy, and right as the Mexican man was getting up from praying, the bag broke and the wheel of cheese rol

A young girl had just begun to go to a new Christian church group. She had been going for a couple of weeks now, and at one session their leaders were talking about when they found Jesus in their lives. One of her leaders had started saying: "When I was your age, I had just gotten Jesus in my life." She replied, "Well, how long has it been that you have had Jesus in your life?" He replied, "35 years of my life." Then she said,"God Damn, that's a long time"

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.