These are some real people's names, and what they grew up to be. They are all true: 1.) Iccolo Miccolo played the piccolo for the Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra. 2.) H.M. Balmer was a funeral director in Fort Collins, Colorado. 3.) Miss Birdie Snyder married C. Canary and became Birdie Canary. 4.) Perhaps it was best to ignore the orders of Dr. Besick, a doctor in Chicago, Illinois. 5.) The Clipper brothers worked as barbers in Bakersfield, California. 6.) Mr. Thrift of Keepit, Australia, won the $30,000 first prize in a lottery. 7.) D. Sharp was a radio tenor. 8.) Dr. H.A. Toothacre worked as dentist for the Burlington, Iowa, Independent School District. 9.) B.F. Parsons was a

Here are some actual town's names: 1.) Two Egg, a town in Florida, was named for a system of barter used in the area after the Civil War, when two eggs were regularly traded for a bag of tobacco or sugar. 2.) Ed and Uz are the shortest place names in the United States. Both towns are in Kentucky. 3.) Slovenskanarodnapodpornajednota is a town in Pennsylvania. It has one of the longest names in the United States, but it covers only 500 acres and has only 11 residents, one mailbox, and one pay phone. 4.) Onoville, New York, was given this name because each time someone suggested a name at a town council meeting, the person was greeted by a chorus of "Oh, no!" 5.) Show Low is the name

What's the difference between a Mexican and a Bench? A bench can support a whole family.

What I Want in a Man, Original List 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head) 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner 4. Listens more than talks 5. Laughs at my jokes 6. Carries bags of groceries with ease 7. Owns at least one tie 8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal 9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries 10. Seeks romance at least once a week What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42) 1. Not too ug

Men: know what they want to be doing five years down the road. Guys: are not sure what they want to be doing later tonight. Men: read Crichton, watch Rather, play golf. Guys: read King, watch Seinfeld, play poker. Men: wear ties with stripes, shirts with buttons, and shoes with laces. Guys: wear high school T-shirts they've actually owned since high school. Men: think perfume (yours) is a turn-on. Guys: think sweat (theirs) is a turn-on. Men: balance their checkbooks. Guys: balance their loans so that they never hit up the same buddy twice in a row. Men: claim to be feminist but still insist on opening doors, driving, and paying for dinner. Guys: claim to be feminists so they can let YO

Because I'm a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator. Because I'm a guy, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in. Oh, and when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't kno

1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control. 2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game. 3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand". 4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them. 5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty. 6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say. 7. Women need to fe

Banta Singh got tired of being the butt of jokes, and decided to do his PhD. Banta was looking out for a unique subject to write his thesis when he saw a cockroach. Banta placed the cockroach on the table and cuts one of its leg. Then he said "Walk". The cockroach moves forward. Then Banta cut its second leg and commanded "Walk". The cockroach manages to moves forward. Then Banta cut its third leg and commanded "Walk". The cockroach manages to wriggle forward on one leg. Finally Banta cut its fourth leg and said "Walk". The poor cockroach could not move and lay helplessly on the table. He repeats the same with over 1000 cockroaches. He finds that the results in all his experiments match. Ban

A group of drug dealers from Mexico tried transporting 6,240 pounds of marijuana to America, by hiding it in a tanker truck disguised as a gasoline truck. They were clever, but not bright. They misspelled the name of the gas station on the side of the truck. A woman was arrested in Lake City, Florida for robbery of a motel. She was armed with only an electric chainsaw that was not plugged in. Police in Idaho were amused when they arrived to write up a burglary, and the homeowner told them that the thief had taken his VCR, his bong, and his stash of marijuana. The police ticketed the guy for possession of drug paraphernalia. A girl went to a Taco Bell and asked for a taco with minimal lett

Many authors are disputing who wrote the Shakespeare plays. They each say they did. In their arguing, they decide to try and prove who wrote it by first showing Shakespeare's work, then theirs. Shakespeare version: TITANIA to BOTTOM Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful. Jack London's version: TITANIA to BOTTOM You're as wise as the snowy owl and as beautiful as the clear night sky with fresh white snow under the Northern lights. Dr. Seuss' version: TITANIA to BOTTOM You're as attractive as green eggs on a plate and the way you sing is fantastically great! Homer's version: TITANIA to BOTTOM Be you as wise as Odysseus and as beautiful as fair Helen. Guess who won.

Good Ev'nin America! I, George Dubya Bush, confess that I wrote the Shakespeare plays. First of all, I'm very intellentifull. I didn't mean to confusinate you, but I'm just that smart. Do not misunderestimate me because I can't prononunce n-n-n-uclar -you know what I mean. Shakespeare was in my axis of evil, so I wrote the plays. I mean, who would write plays like "A Homedy of Terrors, Nothing to Say about Something, The Naming of my Poo, Porklet, and A Late Winter's Ice Cream?" I must also give credit to my Secretary of State, Donald Rumpelstiltskin for playing an interceptun on my fumble.

Girl, "Oh, Superman I love you so much!" Superman,"I don't blame you."