Q: How can you tell if a blonde has stolen your bike? A: She's running away with it under her arm.

Two guys are out walking their dogs one day and decide to stop at a bar to get a drink. When they get there, however, there's a sign on the door that says, "No Pets Allowed." The guys are about to go home when one of them gets an idea. He tells his friend to wait a few minutes and then follow his lead. He puts on his sunglasses and walks in with his German Shepherd. The bartender sees him walk in with the dog and says, "Can't you read? No pets allowed in here!" The guy says, "But I'm blind. This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender thinks for a minute and decides to let him stay. Meanwhile, the friend is watching through the window. He sees the plan work for the first guy so he decid

This guy sits down at the bar, and starts telling the bartendar, "I've been married for 12 years now and I want some variety. I'm sick of the same old thing! I want something different!" The bartendar says, "12 years thats a long time, you don't want to do anything stupid! Hell, if ya want something different just flip her over!" The man replies, "What? And have a houseful of kids!"

An Indian man made a painting with the sun above a beach. He proudly displayed his painting. When people marvel at his work and asked, "What's it called?" He said, "Sun of a Beach."

Did you hear about the tree that made an Ash of itself?

Yo momma so dumb, that when we told her it was chilly outside she ran out with a bowl and a spoon.

A lonely female crab was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming toward her—but he was walking straight and not sideways! Impressed by his talent, she decided to marry him immediately. The next morning she noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab! She asked, "What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!" He answered "What?! I can't get that drunk every day!".

Q: How do you serve food in space? A: On flying saucers

A guy walked up to this little boy and asked what was closer, ( it was a joke) the moon or the Cayman Islands. The little boy said, "The moon, because you can't see the Caymen Islands, but you can see the moon." The guy decided to show some people on the streets this fine genius. That same day, the guy shouted out, "Listen to the genius. Once the guy asked which was closer, the moon or the Cayman Islands, the little boy said " The Cayman Islands." "Why do you think that?" the guy asked. the boy said "Yesterday, I saw some people from the Cayman Islands. Have YOU ever seen some one from the moon? I sure haven't."

Q. Why was Moses the most wicked man? A. He broke all 10 Commandments at once. Q. What animal could Noah not trust? A. The cheetah. Q. What kind of lights did Noah use on the ark? A. Flood lights.

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring the customers!" "I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my testicles." With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says..."You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"

Exam Question: Define courage. Student Answer: This is.