1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I want to ask where the bathroom is? 2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the whole room for the TV remote, just because they refuse to walk up to the TV and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? 4. When people say, while watching a movie, "Did you see that!?" No stupidnose, I paid $9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the ceiling up there! What did you come

There once were two babies both in the same room, with their cribs next to each other. After their mom tucked the babies in for sleep, one baby went to the other baby and said, "I can tell if you are a girl or a boy." The other baby said, "OK, what am I then?" The baby went under the other babies blanket and came up a minute later, and said with a grin on his face, "You are a girl and I am a boy." The second baby asked, "And how do you know that?" The baby replied, "I know because you have pink slippers and I have blue slippers."

This is a joke song ok "I pledge allegiance to the flag, Micheal Jackson is a fag. He used to play with little toys, but now he plays with little boys."

Dear Friend, The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is...and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! While I was sitting there, t

Yo momma's so ugly, she looked at me and my eyes burned off.

A rich Chinese family (a 36 year old dad, a 36 year old mom, and a 2 year old son) was flying in their private jet. It ran out of fuel, and there were only two parachutes. The parents decided they could always have another son, so they grabbed the parachutes and jumped off. When they got home, they saw their son sitting on their porch. "How the hell did you get here? And before us?" the dad said, confused. The little boy stood up and said, "Me Chinese, me think fast, me hold on to daddy's ass. He make fart, I go zoom, that's how I get home so soon!"

One day a little boy was at kindergarten. The teacher told the class their homework was to find the first five letters of the alphabet. When the little boy got home he went to his older brother who was playing video games. "Big brother whats the first letter of the alphabet?". His big brother then said to the little boy "Shut up retard i`m sick of listening to you!". Then the little boy went on to his second brother who was watching batman. " Big brother what`s the second letter of the alphabet?". The older brother who obviously wasn`t paying attention said " Na na na na na na na Batman!". The little boy went on to his dad who was watching football and said "Dad whats the t

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tracks on her back? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK"

I heard they were going to name a highway after Willie Nelson in Texas... But be Warned: When taking this highway look out for pot holes!

Did you here about the new redneck Barbie doll? It comes with twelve kids, aids, and a welfare check.

One morning, during breakfast, I say, "I had the strangest dream. It was about aliens." My mother asks, "What are aliens?" My father asks, "What kind?"

Yo momma can be used as a weapon: she's so ugly, she'll blind house robbers!