What did the dick say to the condom? Cover me, I'm goin in!

Given m = money, e = evil, t = time and w = women, prove that women are evil (women = evil) 1. m = e ^ (1/2) (money is the root of all evil) 2. t = m (time is money) 3. w = t * m (women are the product of time and money) 4. w = m ^ 2 (substitution) 5. w = {e ^ (1/2)} ^ 2 (substitution) 6. w = e Proven by mathematics - women are evil.

Which comes first, Ben-Gay or Preparation H? Ben-Gay. After you have been gay, you'll need the Preparation H.

Q: What did the blonde say when she crossed the road? A: Hey! How'd I get over here?

Once upon a time in India, the Bengal tiger was on the brink of extinction, due to a vigorous hunting season. So, Prince Naranjahah ordered that no one shall kill another Bengal. Well, this led to the over abundance in zoos and animal shelters, and one day, the tigers broke loose and started attacking the citizens. The citizens then revolted and overthrew the Prince's rule. This is the first known instance of the reign being called on account of the game.

Yo momma is like a brick. She's flat on all sides and gets laid all day.

Recently, Today Tonight have held a survey. The results indicate that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.

Knock knock who's there? Ivanna Ivanna who? Ivanna come in, dammit!

Little johnny walked into a club where people were doing the macarena. He watched them for a while, and asked someone: "What are you guys doing? Searching for your wallets?"

Yo momma so fat that when she went out dressed in green she got arrested for driving a tank.

Why did Humpty dumpty go to the shrink? Cause he was half cracked.

A middle school student was working at a shop for his after-school job. He had on a Dairy Queen shirt. A kindergarten student walked up to him and said, "Wow, I have 3 of those shirts! You must be cheap!"