Your breath is so bad, you need a tic-tac the size of a watermelon!

One mistake my mom made when I was three: she taught me how to read the word napkin. The second mistake she made: I asked her why "napkins" were under the sink. She said they were for "special occasions" The third mistake she made: My mom asked me to set the table for the special occasion tonight. So I went to the bathroom and got the "napkins" for special ocassions, and set them on the table. When I got done, my dad came in and burst out in laughter, along with my uncle and aunt as they walked in. When my mom came in, her face turned bright red.

There once was a women who bought a new house but didn't know what to name it. So she stuck her head out the window and heard Hairy Butt! So she decided to name the house Hairy Butt. Then sometime later she had a baby boy but didn't know what to name it, so she stuck her head out the window and heard the word Crack, so she named her son Crack. The next day she lost her son so she called the police and said "Help! I looked all over my Hairy Butt but I can't find my little Crack.

Yo Mama is so fat, when you were born, you came out singin' "It's a small world after all."

Q: What did the chicken say after it crossed the road? A: "Why is everyone always talking about me?"

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: To prove he wasn't chicken. Q: Why did the pencil cross the road? A: It was lead.

Yo momma is so fat and hairy, that if she dyed her hair green, people would use her for golf practice.

There was a couple. One day the husband went to work, as usual. All of a sudden a man in a truck appeared at the front door. The husband, frightened, hid behind a tree. The man exchanged a few words with the wife and left. The husband decided to get rid of that man once and for all. The next day, the husband went to work. But this time, he carried a shotgun with him. The man in the truck came again, the husband shot the man. Then the wife came out and cried," You idiot! That man was filling in for my boyfriend!"

Child: Mom! I got a 100% on my homework! Mom: Really? On what subject? Child: A 40% on science and a 60% on spelling.

Yo Momma is so dumb she can't get the ball to touch the ground.

How to break up a dating couple: Knock-knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I dumped your girlfriend last night?

At a party, a man came up to a stranger and asked "Have you heard the latest Bush joke?" The man replies, "I am Bush." The man said, "Oh. I'll tell it slowly."