You know your a redneck when there are 15 cars in your driveway, and the only one that moves is your house.

Yo momma is so poor, I asked her what was for dinner and she put her foot on the table and said "CORN!"

Yo momma is so fat when she sees a school bus go by, she says "STOP THAT TWINKY!!"

You know you're a redneck when you go to a family reunion to find a girlfriend.

You know you're a redneck when you mow your lawn and find 10 cars.

Yo mamma is so fat, she jumped up and got stuck in the sky.

Yo momma is so stupid she threw butter out the window to see a butterfly.

If your uncle Jack was stuck on a roof, would you help your uncle Jack off?

I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam. His new nurse, Elaine, took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes. After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down. While waiting I observed that there were three items on a stand next to the exam table: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer. When the doctor finally came in I said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?" At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed over t

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and how the letters are used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed! {A} Almost Boobs . . . {B} Barely there. {C} Can't Complain! {D} Dang! {DD} Double dang! {E} Enormous! {F} Fake. {G} Get a Reduction. {H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up.

Q: What do you call a schizophrenic Buddhist? A: Someone who is at two with the universe.

Knock knock Who's there? Mayonaise Mayonaise who? Mayonaise a lot of jokes on this website.