After class ends a 1st grader goes up to his teacher and says, "I don't mean to scare you Teacher but my parents said that if I keep getting bad grades, then..." "Somebody's gonna get a spanking." (nodnod)

One weekend, a couple were having breakfast when the radio suddenly blared, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow! Please move your car to the even numbered side of the street so that the street sweepers can come through!" So the wife goes out and moves her car. The next weekend, the couple were having breakfast when the radio suddenly blared, "We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow! Please move your car to the odd numbered side of the street so that the street sweepers can come through!" So the wife goes out and moves her car. The next weekend, the couple were having breakfast when the radio suddenly blared, "We are expecting 12-14 inches of snow! Please move your car to the-" And sudde

yo momma so skinny she can hula-hoop with a cheerio.

You know your day is bad if your twin sister forgot your birthday.

Yo momma so dumb that when we told her it was a serial killer on the loose she went and locked all the boxes of cereal up in the cabinet.

How do you know if you're a redneck? If you go to a cousin's wedding looking for a girlfriend.

Yo momma so fat she went on a sea food diet - she see food and eat it.

knock-knock. who's there? yo mama. yo mama who? this is yo mama stop playing.

My friend's mom is so fat I was upstairs and when she fell I ran down screaming, "EARTHQUAKE!"

What's the difference between snow men and snow women? Snow BALLS! (Ding dong kind)

Yo momma so stupid she went to commit suicide and tried to jump out her basement window.

yo momma so fat she has her own area code.