Knock knock? Who's there? Water. Water who? Water you doing?

Knock knock? Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald(I swallowed) my gum!

Knock knock? Who's there? Kip. Kip who? Kip your hands off me!

Knock knock? Who's there? Howie. Howie who? Howie gonna figure this out?

Once, a teacher was showing a child a picture of a firefighter taking a child out of a burning building. The teacher asked what that was. The child replied,"A pregnant firefighter." Instead of scolding him, she calmly asked,"Do you know what pregnant means?" The little boy just said, "Yes, it means to be carrying a child."

yo momma so dumb that she went to the movies and after they told her under 17 not permitted she went back and got 16 more friends.

You have a face like a baby, with a brain to match. * Credited to my friend fqzeng.

(especially if you do this in public) Child: Would you still love me if I did something bad? Parent: Yes, of course. Child: I mean something REALLY bad. Parent: Of course... Child: No, I mean something REALLY really bad. Parent: No... Child: No, really. Something REALLY really really- Parent: ALL RIGHT! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!!!???!!!???!!!???!!!???111///111///111///111/// Child: (Innocently) Nothing, why?

These are just a few of those typical sexist jokes- they make me chuckle ( or groan) so ya know- I'm a girl : ) *what's worse than a male chauvinist pig? - A woman who won't do what she's told. *I married Mrs. Right- I just wish I'd known her first name was Always * * How many men does it take to open a beer? -None. It should be open by thetime she brings it * What is the best way to always remember your wife's birthday? - Forget it once

Your Mama's so fat when she went to a hotel she asked for a water bed and they just covered up the pool with a blanket and said no divers.

The accountant's prayer: "Lord, help me be more relaxed about insignificant details, starting tomorrow at 10.53:16 am, Eastern Daylight Saving Time."

The accountant was visiting the Museum of Natural History and said to the person standing next to him, "That dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old." "How did you get such exact information?" "I was here ten months ago and the guide said the dinosaur was two billion years old."