What is 4-2? two. What is 8-6? two. Who wrote Tom Sawyer? Twain Now say the answers altogether. Two two Twain. Have a nice twip!

Child: "Teacher! I can't find my boots!" Teacher: "Are you sure?" Child: "Yes! There is only one pair left, and it's not mine!" Teacher:"Are you sure?" Child:" Definitely! Mine had snow on them!"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all go to a bar. The redhead walks up to the bartender and says,"I'll have a BL." So the bartender gives her a Bud Light. The brunette walks up next and says,"I'll have an ML." So the bartender gives her a Miller Light. The blonde is catchingon so she goes up to the bartender and says,"I'll have a 15." The bartender thinks about it, looks around, and says,"Ok, you stumped me. What's a 15?" The blonde goes,"Duh! 7 and 7."

The following event actually happened to a famous basketball coach. "When I first got a job as La Salle University's basketball coach, the phone rang and my wife told me it was Sports Illustrated. I cut myself shaving and fell down the steps in my rush to get the phone. When I got there, a voice on the other end said, 'For just 75 cents an issue...'"

Why don't skeletons ever play music at church? Because they don't have any organs!

What did the statue say to the other after a break-up and make-up? I'm sorry I took you for granite. (granted) hahahaha

Why does Hershey's chocolate taste so good? Because they are made by women! (Her-She) hahahaha

A golf ball is a golf ball, no matter how you putt it.

Child: Mommy, why am I so skinny? Mommy: Don't worry about it, dear. When your father was born, he only weighed four pounds. Child: Really? Did he live?

My uncle is very superstitious. He won't work any week that has a Friday in it.

yo momma so fat she played pool with the planets!

One day, Harry and Sarah were having a petty argument. After shouting back and forth, Sarah finally says, "Let's make a deal. To end this argument, you admit that I am right and I will admit that I am wrong." Harry thought for a moment, agreed, and asked her to go first. Sarah replied, "I'm sorry Harry, I am wrong." In response, Harry shouts happily, "You're right!"