Knock-knock. Who's there? Terra. Terra who? Terra reason you won't let me in?

What do you get when every car in the nation is pink? Answer: a pink carnation (the flower)

There once was a priest, a bishop, and the Pope. They were all at the park and they saw a deep pond. The Pope told the bishop and the priest, "I bet I can walk on water". So he goes to the pond and, amazingly, he walks on water and gets to the other side. Then the bishop tells the priest, "I bet I can walk on water". So the bishop goes to the pond and, amazingly, he walks on water and gets to the other side. The priest is so surprised by all this he decides to give it a shot, so he goes to the pond and he steps on the water but he falls in and gets drenched. On the other side, the Pope is telling the bishop, "Do you think we should've told him about the stepping stones in the pond?"

There were three Chinese men who were new to America. They went inside a telephone booth to make a call and they dialed the operator. The operator said i dont understand you, please call back when you know some english. So they were looking around and they heard someone say, "I did it! I did it!" So the first Chinese man learned those words. Then the second Chinese man heard someone say, "For 50 cents, 50 cents." so he learned those words. Then the third man heard someone say, "Im first. Im first." so the last Chinese guy learned those words. Then right in front of them was a body that was murdered. A cop came and took them to court. So when they went to court the judge asked, "Who did it?"

Two blondes decide to go duck hunting. Neither one has ever been before, but they decide to go anyway. They take a couple of guns and a hunting dog and head out into the woods. A few hours later, they still haven't caught anything. "I don't get it," says the first blonde. "Why haven't we caught anything yet?" The second blonde says,"I keep telling you, I just don't think we're throwing the dog high enough."

Have you heard about the new blonde paint? It's not too bright but it spreads real easy.

A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with indelible ink. The couple was curious about what the stamp read, so when they got home, the husband got out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was. In very tiny letters, the stamp said, "When you can read this, come back and see me."

A little boy goes to his father one day and says, "Daddy, what is politics?" "Well," his father replied, "let me try to explain it to you this way. Let's say that you're the people. I'm the breadwinner of the family so we'll call me the economy. Your mother is in charge so we'll call her government. Your nanny will be the working class, and your baby brother is the future. Now go think about that and see if you can understand." The boy thinks about it but doesn't really get it so he goes to bed. He wakes up in the middle of the night and hears his baby brother crying. He goes to check on his brother and sees that he has soiled himself but doesn't know how to change a diaper. He goes

What do you call a horny fish? A blowfish

Teacher: Jimmy! Count from one all the way to ten! Jimmy: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. Teacher: Good, now what comes after that? Jimmy:Jack, queen and king!

What is 4-2? two. What is 8-6? two. Who wrote Tom Sawyer? Twain Now say the answers altogether. Two two Twain. Have a nice twip!

Child: "Teacher! I can't find my boots!" Teacher: "Are you sure?" Child: "Yes! There is only one pair left, and it's not mine!" Teacher:"Are you sure?" Child:" Definitely! Mine had snow on them!"