Q: What did the chicken say after it crossed the road? A: "Why is everyone always talking about me?"

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: To prove he wasn't chicken. Q: Why did the pencil cross the road? A: It was lead.

Yo momma is so fat and hairy, that if she dyed her hair green, people would use her for golf practice.

There was a couple. One day the husband went to work, as usual. All of a sudden a man in a truck appeared at the front door. The husband, frightened, hid behind a tree. The man exchanged a few words with the wife and left. The husband decided to get rid of that man once and for all. The next day, the husband went to work. But this time, he carried a shotgun with him. The man in the truck came again, the husband shot the man. Then the wife came out and cried," You idiot! That man was filling in for my boyfriend!"

Child: Mom! I got a 100% on my homework! Mom: Really? On what subject? Child: A 40% on science and a 60% on spelling.

Yo Momma is so dumb she can't get the ball to touch the ground.

How to break up a dating couple: Knock-knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I dumped your girlfriend last night?

At a party, a man came up to a stranger and asked "Have you heard the latest Bush joke?" The man replies, "I am Bush." The man said, "Oh. I'll tell it slowly."

President Bush was visiting a classroom where a teacher was giving a lesson on blood circulation. Trying to make the lesson clearer, he said, "Now, children, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run to my face." "Yes, sir," one of the girls said. "Then why is it," he continued, "that while I am standing upright the blood doesn't run to my feet?" "Because your feet aren't empty," replied a boy in the back of the room.

As governor, Bush got to act ceremonially as a state trooper for a day. While operating a speed trap, Bush pulled over a farmer. He lectured the farmer about his speed and the necessity of obeying laws made by his superiors, and in general threw his weight around. Finally, he got around to writing the ticket, and as he was doing so he kept swatting at some flies that kept buzzing around his head. The farmer said, "Having some trouble with those circle flies there, are ya, sir?" Bush stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well, yeah, if that's what they are. I never heard of circle flies." So the farmer said, "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because

You're so stupid, you threw a rock at the ground and missed.

President Bush looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approaching him. "What is it now?" sighs the president. "It's this abortion bill," replies the aide. "What do you want to do about it?" "Go ahead and pay it," says the president.