This guy walks into a bar, sits down and asks the bartender, "Got any specials today?" The bartender replies,  "Yes, as a matter of fact, we have a new drink that was invented by a gynecologist who is a patron of ours. It's a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and Smirnoff vodka." The guy asks, "Geez, what kind of drink is that?"    The bartender responds, "We call it a Pabst Smir."

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They like to keep their clients in the dark!

You're so slow that if you were a train engine, the caboose would be leading.

Why did the pencil cross the road? It was lead!

There are these kids at school, each bragging about how they ruined something in an amount of time. 1st kid: I wore out a pair of shoes in 1 month. 2nd kid: I wore out a pair of jeans in 1 week. 3rd kid: Oh that's nothing, I wore out my babysitter in 5 minutes!

Teacher: Can you pay a little attention to this lesson?! Pupil: I am trying my best to pay as little attention as I can!!

I went into a restaurant that served 'breakfast at any time'. So, I asked for French Toast in the time of the Renaissance

Did you hear about all the Wal-Marts being taken out of Afghanistan? Yeah thet're putting in Targets!

A teacher asks a first grader a simple math question. TEACHER:" If you had 50 cents in one pocket, and you asked you dad for another 50 cents, how much would you have?" STUDENT:"50 cents." TEACHER: "You obviously don't know how to add." STUDENT: "You obviously don't know my dad!"

Q: Why are frogs so happy? A: They eat whatever bugs them!

Q: How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how many lightbulbs need changing.

Say the word pig before each word. Pigs About Talking Idiot This Got I Long How Look Now say the word pig after each word Pigs About Talking Idiot This Got I Long How Look Next say the word pig before and after each word Pigs About Talking Idiot This Got I Long How Look Finally read the list of words from the bottom up. Pigs About Talking Idiot This Got I Long How Look Have a Great day :)