One time there were three guys sitting at a bar. One was stupid, one was pretty smart, and the third was very intelligent. Well, they were sitting at the bar and the pretty smart one says that they should go on a deer hunt. "I'll go first," says the smart one. Later the man comes back with a big deer. The two other men ask how he got such a deer. "I just followed some tracks, kept on going, then BAM! I found my self a deer!" says the man. So the pretty smart one goes after that. He comes back later and the two men still at the bar asked how he got the deer. He replies the same way the smart man replied. Next goes the stupid one. About thirty minutes passed and he came back looking beat up.

A sophisticated lady went into an expensive restaurant. Before sitting, she asked her waiter, "Do you serve crabs here, sir?" The waiter replied, "Yes ma'am, we serve anybody in here. Please have a seat."

Two blondes were sitting enjoying a view of the full moon. The first blonde says; "I wonder which is further away? The moon or Florida?" The second blonde replies; "Well, duh! The moon! Can you see Florida?"

Two English guys were in the middle of the scorching desert with no food or water. They both decide to stop and have a rest in the sand. Then one guy has a genius idea. The guy says, "I support Liverpool football team, so I'll eat the liver of my camel!" The second guys says, "I support Arsenal football club, but I'm not that hungry!"

My survey which I conducted said that 8 out of 4 people don't understand fractions.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Who! Who who? You must have the stammers!

Ugly: (adjective) A state of being in which you are constantly in. Example: You

Yo momma so fat, her bungee cord has to be hooked onto Mars.

Yo momma so fat, she makes Godzilla look like a pocket dragon.

Yo momma so fat, she's the founder of Button Poppers Anonymous.

Yo momma is so fat, she has to iron her clothes on the street.

There are two fat guys in a bar, one of the guys, puts his empty glass on the bar and says, "your round", the other guy says, "so are you, you fat basted!"