You know what would have happened if there had been three wise WOMEN instead of three wise MEN, don't you? The three wise WOMEN would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the Baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and given practical gifts.

There were 3 ants in a house. They all had to decide where they wanted to sleep. One ant decides to sleep in the cabinet, one in the cookie jar, and one in the toilet. The next morning they all woke up and meet on the stove top to ask each other how their sleep was. The one who slept in the cabinet said his was hot. The one who slept in the cookie jar said his was sweet! The one that slept in the toilet said that " First it got dark, then it rained, a big gust of wind came, and if it wasn't for that big log.....I would have drowned!!!"

The Russians were called "Reds," a long while ago. So a war general named Rudolf walks into a bakery. The baker starts talking about owning a reindeer. He starts asking questions about it to the general. When the baker gets home, he tells his wife, "Rudolf the Red knows reindeer!"

Why did the teacher have to put on her glasses during class? Because the kids were to bright!

Why don't crabs share? Because there shelfish!

What is the name of the baseball player who sits under a tree? Babe Root!

A friend of mine spent two hours in the salon getting her hair colored, cut, and blow dried. After all that, was it too much to ask to be treated like Cinderella at the ball? Yet when she went to the desk to pay, the receptionist said to her, "Hello, madam, who is your appointment with today?"

How many roaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You'll never know because when you turn on the light, they scatter!

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Sara. Sara who? Sara doctor in the house?!

There are four elephants in a Volkswagon. How do you know when one went into your refrigerator? Answer: There is a set of footprints in the butter! How do you know when there were two elephants in the fridge? Answer: There are two sets of footprints in the butter! How do you know when there were three elephants in your fridge? Answer: you have three sets of footprints in the butter! How do you know when four elephants were in your fridge? Answer: You have an empty Volkswagon!

A man walked into a bar... and it hurt!

Two blondes were going on a hike, and came to a fork in the road. A sign was in the center that said "Bear left." One of the blondes said,"I'm happy that was taken care of, now we finally are able to take the upper trail," so they proceeded left.