How many cats does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Cats can't hold a light bulb

Yo momma's so fat that a car hit her and she turned around and said "Hey! Who threw that rock!"

Knock Knock. Who's there? To. To who? To you.

How do you titillate an ocelot? Oscillate its tit a lot!

On the appointed day, St. Peter escorted John to the Holy Mother's sanctuary. John went before Her, knelt, and said: "Holy Mother, I've always looked to You for guidance, and You have granted me peace and serenity through some difficult times. But I have one question that has nagged me during my whole time on earth. In all the paintings that were done of you, and in all the sculptures that were carved of you, you always looked so sad. Why is that?" Mary thought for a moment, pursing her lips. She said: "I always wanted a girl."

There's a big controversy on the Jewish view of exactly when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.

Yo momma's so stupid... She site on the T.V and watches the couch.

Yo mama is so fat, she's the reason they declared world hunger.

Yo mama is like a hockey player. She doesn't change her pad for three periods.

Yo momma is so fat, that every time you smack her butt, you can ride the waves!

A father asked his son: "Why do you take the medicine before it's time? " The son answered:" To surprise the germs! "

Jack was summoned by the Disciplinarian where his son, Tracey was enrolled. Tracey always throw stones at his playmates and he never missed. Jack replied to the Disciplinarian : Sir, please look at the bright side. My son will grow up to be a very effective baseball pitcher.