A man walks into a hotel and asks for a room. The guy behind the counter tells him that there is one room left but it is haunted. The man gets the room anyway. That night he hears in a soft voice "If the log rolls over we`ll all die!" He runs away. The next day a father and his daughter get the room after they were told that it is haunted. That night they hear "If the log rolls over we`ll all die!" The girl hides under the bed as the father follows the sound to the bathroom door. He opens the door. There on the ground is a bunch of ants staring at a turd saying, "If the log rolls over, we'll all die!"

A farm boy accidentally overturned a wagonload of corn. A farmer, who lived nearby, heard the noise and yelled to the boy, "Hey, Willis, forget your troubles and come in for a visit. I'll help you pick the wagon up later." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but Pa wouldn't like me to." "Aw, come on, boy," the farmer insisted. "Well, OK" the boy finally agreed, "but Pa won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset." "Don't be foolish," the neighbor said with a smile; "by the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon," replied the boy.

What is the definition of wicker box? It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna.

A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other." He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along." So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning they were laying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, this was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. She said," That was incredible!" He said, "I used to b

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.

What does a Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Jose and Josbe

Janet's son, Trevor, lived in Georgia with his mom. Over the summer, Trevor went to California. On his way back to home, he decided to stop at an "adult video" store. The manager asked if he had an account. He admitted he didn't, and asked to start one. The manager asked for his phone number and he gave it to them. The manager then replied, "It says that the account is under the name of Janet."

George W. Bush was invited to visit the Queen of England. The Queen gets her finest horses and buggy. When Bush gets off the plane, and onto the buggy, Bush and the Queen ingage in a conversation. In the middle of their conversation, one of the horse let out a really big, really smelly fart. The Queen quickly apoligizes and says "I'm sorry, theirs somethings not even a Queen can control." Bush replies "Ma'am, if you wouldn't have said anything, I would have thought it was the horse."

Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned at Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. "When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. "Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words. Banta Singh : OK. Interviewer : Made in India. Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan. Interviewer : Good .... Keep it up. Banta Singh : Bad .... Put it down. Interviewer : Maxi - mum Banta Singh : Mini - dad Interviewer : Enough! Take your seat. Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't take my seat. Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat. Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my seat. Interviewer : I say you get out! Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in. Interviewer : I reject you! Banta Singh : You appoint me. Interviewer : .....!!!!!

One day, three friends met at an inn after not seeig each other for a very long time. They chatted for an hour or so, and then the topic turned to their wives. A: You know, something strange happened during my wife's delivery. She was reading a book called "The Two Brothers" before her delivery and she gave birth to 'two' children ! Isn't that strange?" B: Yeah, but you want to know something stranger ? A similar thing happened to my wife, when she was pregnant ! She was reading the book "Amar, Akbar and Antony", and she gave birth to 'three children' !!!" On hearing this, the third person C, took to his heels and started running. The other two were puzzled but they ran after C and caught

One day an American General, a Russian General and an Indian General were all going to England in a ship. All of them were very boastful. AG : "I have the bravest and most courageous crew in the world. See for yourselves. Oy, you!" (he called to an American soldier) "Swim around this moving ship." The American soldier jumped into the sea without a word, and swam around the moving ship and returned. AG : See the guts ! RG : "Oh, that's nothing. See this. You, (he called to a Russian soldier) swim 5 rounds around this moving ship!" The Russian soldier also jumped into the sea and swam 5 times around the moving ship and returned. RG : "See the guts!" IG : "Oh, that's nothing compared to