True bravery is arriving home late after a boy's night out, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask: Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?

A man walked into a hotel and asked for a room. The guy behind the counter said there is only one room left but it is haunted. The man does not believe this so he gets the room. That night the man hears a voice saying "I`m gonna find you, I`m gonna get you, I`m gonna eat you!" The man runs away scared. The next day a father and his daughter get the room after they were warned. That night they hear "I`m gonna find you, I`m gonna get you, I`m gonna eat you!" The girl hides under the bed as the father follows the sound to the closet. He opens the door. There on the floor sits a little boy, picking his nose, saying "I`m gonna find you, I`m gonna get you, I`m gonna eat you!"

A man walks into a hotel and asks for a room. The guy behind the counter tells him that there is one room left but it is haunted. The man gets the room anyway. That night he hears in a soft voice "If the log rolls over we`ll all die!" He runs away. The next day a father and his daughter get the room after they were told that it is haunted. That night they hear "If the log rolls over we`ll all die!" The girl hides under the bed as the father follows the sound to the bathroom door. He opens the door. There on the ground is a bunch of ants staring at a turd saying, "If the log rolls over, we'll all die!"

A farm boy accidentally overturned a wagonload of corn. A farmer, who lived nearby, heard the noise and yelled to the boy, "Hey, Willis, forget your troubles and come in for a visit. I'll help you pick the wagon up later." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but Pa wouldn't like me to." "Aw, come on, boy," the farmer insisted. "Well, OK" the boy finally agreed, "but Pa won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset." "Don't be foolish," the neighbor said with a smile; "by the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon," replied the boy.

What is the definition of wicker box? It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna.

A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other." He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along." So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning they were laying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, this was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. She said," That was incredible!" He said, "I used to b

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.

What does a Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Jose and Josbe

Janet's son, Trevor, lived in Georgia with his mom. Over the summer, Trevor went to California. On his way back to home, he decided to stop at an "adult video" store. The manager asked if he had an account. He admitted he didn't, and asked to start one. The manager asked for his phone number and he gave it to them. The manager then replied, "It says that the account is under the name of Janet."

George W. Bush was invited to visit the Queen of England. The Queen gets her finest horses and buggy. When Bush gets off the plane, and onto the buggy, Bush and the Queen ingage in a conversation. In the middle of their conversation, one of the horse let out a really big, really smelly fart. The Queen quickly apoligizes and says "I'm sorry, theirs somethings not even a Queen can control." Bush replies "Ma'am, if you wouldn't have said anything, I would have thought it was the horse."

Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned at Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. "When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. "Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words. Banta Singh : OK. Interviewer : Made in India. Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan. Interviewer : Good .... Keep it up. Banta Singh : Bad .... Put it down. Interviewer : Maxi - mum Banta Singh : Mini - dad Interviewer : Enough! Take your seat. Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't take my seat. Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat. Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my seat. Interviewer : I say you get out! Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in. Interviewer : I reject you! Banta Singh : You appoint me. Interviewer : .....!!!!!