How would you drown a blond? Put a mirror at the bottom of the swimming pool

How does a blond turn the light on after sex? ANSWER: She opens the car door.

Why does the blond take off the doors from the bathroom when she is having a wash? ANSWER: So no one would look through the keyhole.

Why is it good to have a blond in your car? ANSWER: You can park on places for disabled

What is the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? It's easier to open the legs on the blonde.

What does a blond say when she is watching a porn movie? ANSWER: "Look, me!"

Driving to Louisana on the interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup. As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn p

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. "If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. "If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. "If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. "That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!"

Why does a blond stand next to a mirror with her hands on her eyes? She wants to see how she looks like when she is sleeping.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a tortoise? A: The blond is better on her back than the tortoise.

A man is passing a blonde and he says, "Where are those legs going?" and the blonde answers, "They are going home for now unless something comes between them."

3 blondes caught a goldfish, and the fish said if they let her go she will grant them one wish each. The first blonde said: "I want to be smart." The second said: "I want to be smarter than her," and the third said: "I want to be the smartest." In the morning they woke up and the first blonde turned into a brunette, second black and the third one had become a man.