What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes!

Bin Laden is sitting with his son and they are watching the Twin Towers collapse. His son asks him, "Dad, which film is this?" to which he replied, "Son, this isn't a film, this is a series."

Why does a blonde keep lowering her head in the supermarket? She is looking for low prices.

What does a blonde have on her when she is naked? A working uniform.

How would you drown a blond? Put a mirror at the bottom of the swimming pool

How does a blond turn the light on after sex? ANSWER: She opens the car door.

Why does the blond take off the doors from the bathroom when she is having a wash? ANSWER: So no one would look through the keyhole.

Why is it good to have a blond in your car? ANSWER: You can park on places for disabled

What is the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? It's easier to open the legs on the blonde.

What does a blond say when she is watching a porn movie? ANSWER: "Look, me!"

Driving to Louisana on the interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup. As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn p

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. "If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. "If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. "If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. "That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!"