What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

A horse walked into a bar. The barman said, "Why the long face?"

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I have." The bartender says, "What do you have?" The guy says, "75 cents."

TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all of the company calendars for next year. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months: Januark Februark Mak Julk I also changed all the days of each week to: Sundak Mondak Tuesdak Wednesdak Thursdak Fridak Saturdak We are now Y to K compliant. Have a nice dak!!!

Four guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons. "My son," the first one says, "started out washing cars at dealership, but now owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new cars of his choice!" "My son," said the second, "started out serving lunch in a real estate office, but now owns the real estate office and just gave one of his friends a new mansion!" "My son," said the third, "started out sweeping the floors at the Stock Exchange, but now practically owns the Stock Exchange and just gave one of his friends a $1,000,000 in stock." "Well," the fourth guy said, "my son's turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. He's a gay hairdresser and he has SEVERAL bo

One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break, and she notices her boss standing in front of a shredder with a clueless look on his face. The secretary walks up to him and asks if he needs help. "Yes!" he says looking and sounding relieved, "This is very important." Glad to help, she turns the shredder on and inserts the paper. Then her boss says, "Thanks, I only need one copy."

In the beginning was the Plan And then came the assumptions And the assumptions were without form And the Plan was completely without substance And darkness was upon the faces of the workers And they spake unto their Group Heads, and sayeth: "It is a crock, and it stinketh!" And the Group Heads went unto their Section Heads, and sayeth: "It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the odour thereof." And the Section Heads went unto their Managers, and sayeth unto them: "It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it." And the Managers went to their Director, and sayeth unto him: "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength." And the

Knock, knock. Who's there? Dwayne Dwayne who? Dwayne the bathtub mommy, I'm dwowning.

Yo Dad said to yo mama, "We're getting a color TV!" and yo mama asked, "What color?"

Your mom is so stupid, when the doctor told her she had to take a pregnancy test, she asked how long she had to study

Yo mama is so stupid she waited at a Stop sign until it said Go.

Yo mama is so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see the other side.