There are only eleven times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use. They are as follows: 11. "What the fuck do you mean we are sinking?" Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912 10. "What the fuck was that?" Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945 9. "Where did all those fucking Indians come from?" Custer, 1877 8 "Any fucking idiot could understand that." Einstein, 1938 7. "It does so fucking look like her!" Picasso, 1926 6. "How the fuck did you work that out?" Pythagoras, 126 BC 5. "You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?" Michelangelo, 1566 4. "Where the fuck are we?" Amelia Earhart, 1937 3. "Scattered fucking showers, my ass!" Noah, 4314 BC 2. "Aw c'mon. Wh

A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

Not to worry: the man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

The difference between the Pope and your boss.... The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.