How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!

What is the square root of 69? Ate something (8....)

Why does Santa have 3 gardens? So he can ho ho ho.

I used to think you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.

Q: How many believable, competent, "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?

Q: How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Does it have to be a lightbulb?

Why do firemen use red suspenders? To hold their pants up!!!

You're so dumb, you staple in the middle of the paper!

Yo momma is so stupid that she gets lost in a telephone booth.

Q: You know what's gross? A: When you look in a mirror!

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was attempting to cross it when yo mamma got hungry.