Russian Roulette, by Hugo First

The Lazy Boy, by Yu Doit

On clothes: do not iron while wearing. On a baby carriage: do not fold while in use.

There was an Iraqi force moving thru the desert. As they were approaching some mountains they heard (from over the mountains) "One U.S. Marine can take out 10 Iraqi fighters!" The General of the army sent out ten of his men to take care of the american, none of them came back after some shooting. Then he heard, "One U.S. Marine can take out 100 Iraqi fighters!" So the General sent out 100 of his men after a long time of shooting none of his men returned. Then he heard "One U.S. Marine can take out 1000 Iraqi fighters!" The General, angry now, sends 1000 fighters. After a very long time of shooting one man comes back. In his dying breath he said, "Don't send anymore men! Its a trap, there are

"He's great on the court," a sportswriter spoke of a college basketball player in a interview with his coach. "But how's his academics?" "Why, he makes straight A's," replied the coach. "Wonderful!" said the sportswriter. "Yes," agreed the coach, "but his B's are a just little crooked."

How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb? Only one - but he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.

What do soccer players drink? Penaltea!

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog in the street. "Oh, that's terrible" "Yes, it was terrible to watch the dog die slowly in convulsions."

Two Tough Questions Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one. Question 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates. Candidate A - Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two Mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day. Candidate B - He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a q

How do you get holy water? You boil the hell out of it!

Locomotive: A crazy reason for a crime!