Top Jokes
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because he was attempting to cross it when yo mamma got hungry.
What's black and white and played all over?
Black and White (the computer game)
How many nerds does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to be the cunsultant.
One to be the labor manager.
Two to hire people.
Four to actually screw in the lightbulb.
Five to be the ladder and ten to be the company board of directors.
How To Easily Clean A Cat
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash and ri
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
The cop got out of his and walked up to the kid who was stopped for speeding. He rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
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