Jokes
Top Jokes
Your momma is so poor I saw her kicking a cardboard box down the street and when I asked her what she was doing she said "Moving!"
How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish!
How many little brothers does it take to change a light bulb? Three- one to hold onto the bulb and two to turn the ladder.
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two- One to screw in the idea, and one to give it a suprising twist at the end.
How many boy scouts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three- Each to do one good turn daily.
Yo Mama's so fat, she didn't have a birth certificate, she had a blueprint!
Yo mama's so fat, she sells shade, and that gives her enough to feed a family!
Yo Momma's so poor, I blew my nose, and she said, "Lord thank us, we have food!"
One Halloween, a boy dressed up as a cowboy. He went to a house, and an elderly lady opened the door. She said, "What might you be?" and the kid in front of the boy said, "I'm an Indian! All day, I hunt buffalo and make teepees and wigwams!" and the lady gave him some candy. Then the boy was up in line. The elderly lady said, "What might you be?" and he replied, "I'm a cowboy! All day, I round up cattle and take them to corrals!" The lady gave him some candy. So he went to the next house, and a scorching hot teenage girl opened the door. She said, "What might you be?" and the girl in front of the boy said, "I'm a lesbian. All day I think of women, all afternoon I think of women, and all ni
One evening, on her first date, a blond went to an amusement park with her boyfriend. After they went on the roundabout, the boy said, "What do you want to do next?" The girl said, "I want to be weighed." So he weighed the blond on a guess the weight game. Then they went on the roller coaster, and afterwards the boy said, "What do you want to do next?" The girl said, "I want to be weighed." So he weighed the blond again, and she weighed the same, so he took her home. When she got home, she flumped on the couch and her mother said, "How was the date?" The blond said, "Weewy Weewy Wousy."
These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country: 1) My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. 2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. 3) Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33. 4) Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. 5) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. 6) John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. 7) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the
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