Top Jokes
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.
"Tim, you be first" she said. "What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?" Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?" Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy works in a topless bar!"
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography.
Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.
Bil
Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet below ground instead of the usual 6?
Because deep down, they're not so bad!
Which is heavier, 20 pounds of rocks or 20 pounds of sugar?
Their both 20 pounds! doy!
"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"
"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."
"Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."
"Talk about a huge breast!"
"It's Cool Whip time!"
"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!"
"Are you ready for seconds yet?"
"Are you going to come again next time?"
"It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"
"Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"
"Don't play with your meat."
"Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."
"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"
"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"
"You still have a little bit on your chin."
"Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it."
"How long
A blond got a new job cutting down trees. On the first day her boss handed her a chainsaw and said,
"Now you have to go into that forest and cut down as many trees as possible using that chain saw. Please be careful with it and also please remember that the minimum is 6 trees a day."
The blonde went into the forest and cut down trees but at the end of the day she had only managed to cut down 4.
Her boss decided to give another chance but the next day she only managed 3. He decided to give her one last chance but on the third day she only cut two trees.
When she finished work, he called the blond over and took her back into the forest.
"Right,"he said,"You must be doing something wrong here s
An old country gentleman and his wife were out driving one day, when a police officer pulled him over.
"What seems to be the trouble young man?" asked the old gentleman.
The officer said, "Excuse me sir, but didn't you notice your wife fell out of the car back there?"
To which the old gentleman exclaimed, "Thank you son, I thought I went deaf!!!".
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