Yo' Mama's teeth are so yellow, her tonsils have to wear sunglasses.

A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks.''What's your name?'' The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'' ''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money.'' The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. ''Okay,what's your name?'' The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.'' ''Really?'' says the loan officer. ''Any relation to Mick Jagger?'' ''Yeah, he's my dad.'' ''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer. ''Do you have any collateral?'' The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?'' The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.'' ''

Yo mama is so dumb she brought toilet paper to a craps game.

A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened. "The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron." "What about the other one?" "They called back."

Q. What happens when you cross a Bulldog with a Shih tzu? A. You get Bullshit.

What is a blonde's mating call? NEXT!!!!!!!!

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to

Yo mama so ugly when she threw a boomerang it never came back!

A little boy is gone to school one day and while he is gone, his cat gets killed. His mother is very concerned about how he will take the news. Upon his arrival home, she explains the tragedy and tries to console the boy saying, "But don't worry, the cat is in heaven with God now." To which the boy replied, "What's God gonna' do with a dead cat?"

Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem. Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem. Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll. Thou shall not sit in front of the television or computer monitor as thou are not transparent. Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy behind. Thou shall not lie down with thy behind in thy human's face. Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors. Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it. Thou shall not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself. Thou shall not jump onto the toilet se

A guy's on the electric chair. The warden's just about to pull the switch, when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, "Do you have any last requests?" The guy says, "(hic) Yeah... (hic) could you please do (hic) could you please do something to scare me?"

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde went to an ice cream parlor together. The brunette went up and asked for a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The counter man was confused, but gave her a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The redhead went up and asked for a single dip of vanilla ice cream with Pepsi poured over it. The man was really confused now. But he gave the redhead her order. The blonde was listening to the other two women and thought that she should have a ''special order'' too. So she went up and asked for an extra-large root beer, but hold the roots.