Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for ? A. They are Braille for "suck here".

Q. What's the difference between a woman and a coffin ? A. You come in one and go in the other.

Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex ? A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.

Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job ? A. After 5 years your job will still suck.

Q. What's the best thing about a blow job ? A. Ten minutes of silence.

Q. How is a woman like a laxative ? A. They both irritate the shit out of you.

Q. Why do husbands die before their wives ? A. They want to

Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull ? A. Lipstick.

10. What do you mean "today's our anniversary"? 9. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV. 8. Ohh, this diamond is way too big! 7. And for our honeymoon we're going fishing in Alaska! 6. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being "just friends". 5. Honey does this outfit make my butt look too small? 4. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there. 3. Is that phone for me? Tell 'em I'm not here. 2. I don't care if it is on sale, 300 dollars is too much for a designer dress. 1. Hey, pull my finger!

A husband and wife are celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night. She looks at her husband and says, "Honey,do you remember this?" He looks up at her and says, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married." She says, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night." He nods and says, "Yes dear, I still remember." "Well, what was it?" she asks. He responds, "Well honey, as I remember, I said, "Ohhhhhhhhh Baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big tits and screw your brains out." She giggles and says, "Yes honey, that's i

An old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the cows and is lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at the local beer hall. One of them says, "Ya know, Ben, I used to have the same trouble with my bull, but I got it fixed really quick." "How did you get it fixed?" "Well, I just dipped my finger in the cow's vagina and rubbed it all over the bull's nose and he got right after her." Ben goes home to the farm and decides to try it. He grabs a cow, dips his fingers in the cow's vagina and rubs it all around the bull's nose. The bull gets a rip roaring boner and jumps on the cow immediately. Ben was impressed. That night, Ben gets into bed with his wife and can't get

There once was a pack of Indians and the Indian Chief could never seem to fart. So eventually he got one of his Indian people to call up a doctor and tell him "Big Chief no fart!". So the doctor came up the next day with a pill and he says "Here, take this and call me the next day to tell me what happened." So the Indian calls back up the next day and says "Still, Big Chief no fart!" So the doctor brought up an even bigger pill. The next day the Indian calls the doctor up and says "Once again, Big Chief no fart!". So the doctor had enough of this and brought this HUGE pill, I mean this pill had to be taken in by tanks. So the next day the Indian calls up the doctor and says..."BIG FART