A panda walks into a bar and eats lunch. When he is finished he shoots the waiter and leaves. The owner ran after the panda and asked him why he did such and thing. The panda replied, "Look up the word 'panda' in the dictionary." The owner did so and it read, "Panadas are black and white animals. They eat shoots and leaves."

Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo? A: A jump rope

Q: What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep? A: A sweater with pockets

All the boys and girls in Mrs. Dovers class are drawing. Mrs. Dover came over to Tommy and said, "What picture are you drawing?" Tommy said, "A cow eating grass." "Ok, where's the grass?" "The cow ate it all." "Ok, where's the cow?" "He went to go look for more grass."

What's the difference between two yards? A. Usually a fence.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Megan Megan who? Makin a list chekin it twice gonna find out who's naughty or nice.

When physics meets Star Wars: May the net force be with you!

1. Q: What would you do if a cheetah charged you? A: Pay him cash. (But don't worry. He accepts credit cards too.) 2. Q: Who went into the tiger's lair and came out alive? A: The tiger. 3. Q: If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped off, how many are still on the boat? A: None- they were all copy cats. 4: Q: What has four legs and two eyes but sees just as well from both ends? A: A tiger with its eyes closed.

Q: Why did piglet look in the toilet? A: He was looking for Pooh (poo)

There were 3 tomatoes. A momma tomato, a papa tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato started to fall behind and the papa tomato called over to him and said, "Ketchup!"

All lazy peoples' slogan must be "The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." But fear not for all of you who wake up early just keep this in mind: The first cat gets the mouse.

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman: "I would like to buy a pink curtain that's the size of my computer screen". The surprised salesman replies: "But, madam, computers do not need curtains...." And the blonde said: "Helloooo.... I've got Windows!"