Yo momma's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals..."

Yo Mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her dad said, "Yeah! Let's go bury it!"

Yo Mama's so ugly, two guys broke into her apt., she yelled "rape", they yelled "NO!"

Yo Mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo, and the zookeeper said "I didn't know an animal had escaped."

Your momma is so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the mechanic. The mechanic, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have some fun. So he told her all she had to do was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out. After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing. "I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working." "Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"

On a nightly stroll a blonde came across an office building. A sign said, "Press bell for Watchman." She presses it and hears an old man coming down the stairs. He turns on the light, unlocks the gate, and shuts off the security system. When he asked what the blonde wanted, she replied, "Why can't you press that button for yourself?"

Blonde inventions: Waterproof towel Unbreakable egg Submarine screen door Solar powered flash light Helicopter ejection seat Inflatable dart board Pedal powered wheel chairs

What do you call the skeleton of a blonde you find in a closet? 1950's Hide-n-seek champion.

2 blondes are walking in the park and the 1st blonde says, "LOOK! Dead bird!" The 2nd blonde looks up into the sky and yells "Where?!"

What's a blonde doing if her hands are covered tightly over her ears and her mouth is completely shut? She's trying to hold onto a thought.

Why should you never ask a blonde to make ice cubes for you? She'll never remember the recipe.