Knock Knock?? who's there? Hatch Hatch-who? Bless you

Who's Bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby? His baby cause he is a little Bigger.

Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team? She kept running away from the ball!!

Knock KnocK??? Who's there? Ya Ya who? Where did that cowboy come from??

A Rabbi was walking home from the Temple and a pious and learned man who could usually beat the rabbi in religious arguments. The rabbi started walking faster so that he could catch up to his friend, when he was horrified to see his friend go into a Chinese restaurant (not a kosher one). Standing at the door, he observed his friend talking to a waiter and gesturing at a menu. A short time later, the waiter reappeared carrying a platter full of spare ribs, shrimp in lobster sauce, crab rangoon and other treif that the Rabbi could not bear to think about. As his friend picked up the chopsticks and began to eat this food, the Rabbi burst into the restaurant and reproached his friend, for he cou

If a man becomes president, his wife is the first lady. If a woman became president, what would you call her husband? Whipped.

There were three blondes in the forest and they saw some tracks. The first blonde said, "Look, bear tracks." The second blonde said, "No, stupid, those are wolf tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are rabbit tracks." Then the train came and ran them all over.

1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. - Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working. - Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9 5. Never pee on an electric fence. - Robert, 13 6. Don't squat with your spurs on. - Noronha, 13 7. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to. - Emily, 10 8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. - Taylia, 11 9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, 14 10. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. - Kyoyo, 9 11. You can't hide a piece o

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens." "How did you know?" his mother asked. Daddy picked them up and looked underneath, he replied, "I think it's printed on the bottom."

A Duke is hunting in a forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he comes upon a tree. Archery targets are painted all over it, and smack in the middle of each is an arrow. "Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cries the Duke. "I must find him." After continuing through the forest for a few miles, he comes across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admits that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets. "You didn't just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?" asks the Duke worriedly. "No my lord. I shot them from 100 paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy." "That is truly astonishing," says the Duke

A Husband and Wife go to the hospital to deliver their child. The doctor meets them and tells them that he has a new system that will allow the father to take part or all of the mothers labor pains. They both agree and the delivery begins. The doctor turns the dial to 10%, so that the father will take 10% of the mothers pain. The husband says he feels fine, so the doctor puts it up a notch. The husband still feels fine, so the doctor puts it up to 30%. The husband still feels fine, so it goes up to 50%. The husband tells the doctor to go ahead and put it up to 100%. The husband still feels fine and the child is delivered and the wife felt virtually no pain at all. They both go back hom

"He who laughs last, thinks slowest."