A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadow again and the rabbit fell into the mud hole. The rabbit yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched o

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?" The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe." Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken." "No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken."

GAT (Gangsta Aptitude Tess) The following exam was administered as an Ebonics version of the SAT 1) You just robbed som jack mo fo with $20 in his wallet. You can buy: A dime and two 40's B. A new pair of Fila's C. Dashikki down the block D. Yo mama 2) It's tha end of da monf again and da man is on your jack for da rent. You: A. Bust a cap in his ass B. Say, "Shit man, why you all up in ma bidness?" C. Have anuther kid on welfare D. Yo mama 3) You and ya holmes are banging down da block when yall scam da uther mo fo's commin your way. If ya both jaking your hydros, and both yall draw yur gats, which of da following happens: A. Shit goes down in da hood B. Ya chec

One very loooooong summer day, not so long ago, a guy was driving down a long and never-ending road, when he noticed a sign that said Ten miles ahead Sisters of Mercy brothel. The guy really confused by somewhat intrigued decides that it is weird but if it were true he might check it out. Later down the road he finds the same sign but it reads five miles ahead the Sisters of Mercy brothel. So now the guys decides that he is definitely going to stop at the brothel five miles down the road. FIVE MILES LATER... He drives into a parking lot in front of a small windowless building with one door that says entrance to the Sisters of Mercy brothel. He gets up to the door and on the doorknob "

10. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking. 9. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic. 8. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions. 7. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun. 6. Point at the screen. Chant in a made-up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" pee

14. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor; then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?" 13. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettuccine alfredo you had for breakfast. 12. Take in a wineskin filled with water. Stand and slowly squeeze it out into the toilet, every 15-20 seconds moan or sigh. 11. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot." 10. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuousl

Yo momma is so fat that she is on both sides of the family!

One day a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were hiking when they came across a cliff. There was no bridge and they couldn't think of anyother way to get across so they decided to turn around and go back. Just then a magical fairy appeared and said that they could turn into anything they wanted to help them get across the cliff, all they had to do was run, jump, and say the name of it. The brunette ran and jumped and yelled out, "Eagle," and she soared across the cliff. The redhead ran and jumped then yelled, "Hawk," and flew across to the other side. Then it was the blonde's turn she ran and jumped. When she was in mid air, she forgot what she was going to say and yelled "O crap!"....

This lonely little boy was sitting at home, and he recently discovered the noises and smells that can emit from his body in the form of a fart. So the bored little boy decided to travel the world looking for the best fart, He went to Canada and realized that the cold temperature caused the farts to be really short. He went to Mexico and realized all the spicy foods caused really uncomfortable farts. All other parts of the world had interesting farts but not what the boy was looking for. Feeling that he failed, the boy went back home after his yearly trips around the world, only to walk in on his mom bending over into an oven attempting to pull a cake out. In the middle of her attempt s

A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -Cold As Ever.'" "Yeah?!" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -Stiff At Last.'"

A 75-year-old woman went to the doctor for a check up. The doctor told her she needed more cardiovascular activity, and recommended that she engage in sexual activity three times a week. A bit embarrassed, she said to the doctor, "Please tell my husband." The doctor went out into the waiting room and told the husband that his wife needed sex three times a week. The 80-year-old husband replied, "Which days?" The doctor answered, "Monday, Wednesday, and Friday would be ideal. The husband said, "I can bring her on Monday and Wednesday, but on Fridays, she'll have to take the bus."

All the little rascals sat down for class, and the teacher decided to start off the day with a spelling quiz. The teacher first asked Darla, "Darla, can you spell dumb?" "D-u-m-b," said Darla The teacher then said, "Can you use it in a sentence?" "Buckwheat is dumb." "Okay, can you spell stupid?" said the teacher. "S-t-u-p-i-d." "Can you use it in a sentence?" "Buckwheat is stupid." "Buckwheat, can you spell dictate?" "D-i-c-t-a-t-e." "Can you use it in a sentence?" "I may be dumb, and I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good."