Bill walked into his favorite dive bar, took his regular stool, looked around, and asked Louie, the bartender, "Where's Beverly, the waitress?" "She's dead," replied the bartender. "Dead?" asked Bill. "She died from herpes," said the bartender. Bill replied, "You don't die from herpes." "You do if you give it to Big Louie!" said the bartender.

A man sat at a bar, drinking slowly. On his face was the saddest hangdog expression. The bartender asked, "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?" The man said, "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month." The bartender said, "That should make you happy." The man sadly shook his head and said, "Not when the month is up today!"

Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful..." "Wrong!" replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus." St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses

Four business men are flying over the the UK having tea and taking in the sites The first man who is English looks out of the window and cries "Ah there is my beautiful England" A while later the second man who is Irish looks out and criess "There is my beautiful Ireland" A while after that the Third man looks out and criess "There is my beautiful Scotland" The fourth man who is Chinese feels very left out. He comes up with an idea. Picking up the tea set they have been using, he tosses it out of the window and cries "Ah my beautiful China"

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito will stop sucking when you smack it!

A blonde was getting tired of all the blonde jokes, and being treated as if she were stupid so one day, she decided to dye her hair and become a brunette. She then went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the shepard over. "That's a nice flock of sheep." she said. "Well thank you." said the herder. "Tell you what, I have a proposition for you." said the ex-blonde. "Okay," replied the herder. "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" asked the woman. "Sure," said the sheep herder. So the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382." "Wow," said the herder. "That is exact

Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus; the blonde team rides on the top level.. The brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.. She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the blondes

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the woman ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps put her face in her hands and moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout. Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out. They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event - hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get

Q: A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 3rd grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde because she is 18.

Q: How can you tell when a blonde has been driving your car? A: There is lipstick on the steering wheel from her blowing the horn.

A blonde's house is on fire so she runs outside to use a payphone to call for help. She gets the 911 operator, and gets transferred to the firehouse. "Mr. Fireman, my house is on fire, you have to help me!" The Fireman replies, "Yes, yes, Miss, how do I get to your house?" The blonde pauses a moment, and replies, "Umm, it's the house that's on fire." Realizing he is now talking to a blonde, the fireman comes back with, "No, Miss, how would you like me to get to your house?" to which the blonde replies, "Duh, big red truck!"