Little Johnny was on a plane when the stranger in the next seat said, "Let's talk. Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers." Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?" The stranger said, "How about nuclear power?" Johnny said, "That could be interesting. But first, I have a question. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same thing, grass. Yet a deer excretes pellets, while a cow excretes a flat patty, and a horse excretes clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" The stranger said, "I have no idea." Johnny said, "Well, then, why do you feel qualifi

Visitor : "Knock knock?" Worker: "Who's there?" Visitor : "Doughnut Man." Worker: "Doughnut Man who?" Visitor : "For the last time, do not (doughnut) bother me with your useless 'Knock-Knock' jokes!" Worker: "But you started it!"

Knock-knock Who's there Who Who who I don't know what the heck your talking about but good owl impression.

What do you call a blonde which is as sweet as a pickle and has dirty blonde hair? A sweet potatoe!

Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school. One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school. Did you manage to live a well planned life?" "Yes," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I'm married to an undertaker." Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?" "One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

Three ministers were talking about their common problem with bats in the belfry of the church. The first minister said, "I shot at them with a shotgun, but it only spoiled the woodwork." The second said, "I tried a more humane approach, netting them and releasing them 100 Km away. But they beat me back to the church!" The third (who was looking pretty smug) said, "I caught them, and baptized and confirmed each one. I haven't seen them since."

Q: Why are fingers on the statue of liberty 11 inches long? A: Because if they were 12 inches they would be feet.

Knock Knock?? who's there? Hatch Hatch-who? Bless you

Who's Bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby? His baby cause he is a little Bigger.

Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team? She kept running away from the ball!!

Knock KnocK??? Who's there? Ya Ya who? Where did that cowboy come from??

A Rabbi was walking home from the Temple and a pious and learned man who could usually beat the rabbi in religious arguments. The rabbi started walking faster so that he could catch up to his friend, when he was horrified to see his friend go into a Chinese restaurant (not a kosher one). Standing at the door, he observed his friend talking to a waiter and gesturing at a menu. A short time later, the waiter reappeared carrying a platter full of spare ribs, shrimp in lobster sauce, crab rangoon and other treif that the Rabbi could not bear to think about. As his friend picked up the chopsticks and began to eat this food, the Rabbi burst into the restaurant and reproached his friend, for he cou