Some may be offeneded by a few of these. This is not meant to hurt anyones feelings just to show how stupid some of our idols and leaders of the country are. "Did people build this, or did Indians?" - Tourist question at Mesa Verde National Park "I was glad to see Italy win. All the guys on the team were Italians." - Tom Lasorda, former Dodger manager on World Cup soccer tournament "Every city I go to is an oppurtunity to paint, whether it's Omaha or Hawaii." - Tony Bennett, Singer "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." - Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward. "FOR RENT: CONDOM... ONLY US$650." - Ad in Jakarta Post, should have r

What's better than going to school? Having play time every day!

Little Emma is watching her mother preparing their dinner – this week it's Salt Beef. Emma watches her mother slice off both ends of the joint and place it in a saucepan ready for cooking. Emma asks, "Why did you cut both ends off, Mum?" Her mother pauses for a few seconds, then replies, "That's a good question, Emma. It's what my mother always did when she made Salt Beef and I just do the same, but I've no idea why. Let's phone Granny and ask her." So they phone granny and ask why she always sliced the ends off the Salt Beef before cooking. Granny replies, "You know, I'm not sure why – that was the way I always saw my mother make Salt Beef." Because they are now very curious, they v

What's round and hard and sticks so far out of a man's pajamas you can hang a hat on it? His head!

1. Ride on the baggage claim machine and go around in circles, don't leave until security comes. 2. Ride on those carts and pretend you're in the Batmobile. 3. When checking in, and the attendant takes your baggage and puts it into the machine say you left your passport, bag, purse, flight ticket etc. in there, when they take back the luggage, say you found it in your wallet. 4. Ask for Snerples while on the plane and insist you must have one. 5. Ask where the airport is in the information stand. 6. If you are sitting next to a kid on a plane, point out that you just saw a UFO come by. 7. When the plane is airborne, tell the flight attendant you got on the wrong flight. 8. Pretend to

This is the worst joke ever. Give it no smiley face.

3.6 = coulombs in a milliampere-hour.