Racing through the snow a onewarde southern sleigh, all the way we go bahing through the trees, the snow is turning red, I think i'm almost dead, all the children laugh and play around my stupid head!

What is represented by this? STEPPETSPETS One step forward, two steps back!

What letter comes next? D, L, M, M, J, V, ... S. The letters are the first letters of Spanish days of the week, domingo, lunes, martes, miercoles, jueves, viernes, sabado.

Bill and Sarah were Londoners and were blessed with seven healthy children. After many months of discussion, they finally decided to move to New York. It should have been a simple enough move, but when they arrived, they had great difficulty finding a suitable apartment to live in. Although many were big enough, the landlords always seemed to object to such a large family living there. If only Bill wasn't so honest about the size of his family! After several days of unsuccessful searching, Bill had an idea. He told Sarah to take the four younger children to visit the local cemetery while he went with the older three children to find an apartment. After looking for most of the morning, Bill

A A A A K = biggest 4 of a kind.

Can you decipher this phrase? ONALLE All in one!

When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there. I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen. I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that th

One morning, Pete and Sally decided to go out for breakfast. The waitress at The Almond Tree told them that the special that morning was two eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms, hash browns and toast for $3.99. "That sounds good," said Sally, "but I don't want the eggs." "OK," said the waitress, "but I will then have to charge you $4.50." "Why?" asked Pete, "it doesn't make sense." "Because you will then in effect be ordering a la carte," the waitress replied. "Do you mean I'll have to pay for not taking the eggs?" Sally asked. "Yes," replied the waitress. "OK then, I'll take the special," says Sally. "How do you want your eggs done?" asked the waitress. "Raw and in the shell," Sally replied.

Sharon and her friend Kitty, two little elderly ladies, are out for a drive in a large Mercedes with Kitty driving and Sharon in the front passenger seat. After a few minutes, they come to some traffic lights but although the lights are clearly at red, the car just continues across the intersection. Sharon says to herself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." A few minutes later, they come to another set of lights and again they go through red, this time narrowly missing a car driving across them. Although Sharon is sure the light was at red, she is still convinced she is losing it. She is now getting very nervous. At the next intersection, the light

One stormy night an English, Irish and Scottish man were walking home and had no shelter so at the top of this big hill they found this haunted house. They were all freaked out and hesitated to go in. Eventually, the English man went in and found a five pound note sitting on the table and he goes to lift it when all of a sudden the ghost of Mickey Mouse appears and says, "I'm the ghost of Mickey Mouse; lift that fiver and I'll haunt your house." Next the Scottish man went in and saw the fiver, but before he could lift it the ghost of Mickey Mouse appeared again and said, "I'm the ghost of Mickey Mouse; lift that fiver and I'll haunt your house." Finally, the Irishman went in and lift

A police man arrested a MBA marketing girl.... GIRL: I'M not involved in sex COP:Then what are you doing? GIRL: I am selling condoms and offering a free a trial

I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions. Weird: STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS. No one ever says "It's only a game," when THEIR team is winning. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?