Fill in the blanks such that the second blank is the reverse action of the first one: The famous musician Mozart ________ symphonies when he was alive and __________ after he died. Composed and decomposed.

Three hunters, Chuck, Thomas and Mick, are on safari. Unfortunately they are captured by cannibals, who start getting the cooking pots ready. The cannibal chief tells them they can each have one last wish. "What's your last request?" he asks Chuck, an American. "I'd like a steak," he replies, so the cannibals kill a wildebeeste and serve Chuck with his steak. "What do you want?" the cannibal chief asks Thomas, a Londoner. "I'd like to smoke my cigar," which they let him do. Then the chief asks Mick, an Irishman, "What's your last wish?" "I want you to kick my bum." "Be serious," says the chief. "Please do it - you promised," says Mick. "OK," says the chief and delivers the requested kic

Beijing = Capital of China.

What starts with a p and ends with the letters orn? Popcorn! What were you thinking? What starts with a f and ends with the letters uck? Firetruck! What were you thinking? What starts with a b and ends with the letters itch? Bewitch! What were you thinking?

At the end of the last volleyball season, the main results table had been destroyed. Luckily, a number of people could remember the following snippets: Arlington Wonderers finished above The Golf GTI and Derby Surefires. Eagle Cherrys finished above Arlington Wonderers, The Golf GTI and Derby Surefires. Happy Hours finished above Brookside Magic and Eagle Cherrys. Eagle Cherrys finished above Foxtrot Kilos and Chippy Flippers. The Golf GTI finished below Chippy Flippers and Eagle Cherrys. Foxtrot Kilos finished before Brookside Magic, Derby Surefires and The Golf GTI. Derby Surefires finished below Foxtrot Kilos, Chippy Flippers and Brookside Magic. Arlington Wonderers finished below Chipp

This comes from an elderly man that spoke with me in a waiting room once. "I don't like these places," he said, "They're always trying to find out what you're thinking. "But I was nifty, I got around her, see. I had a way around it." He looked at me and continued. "She asked me if I was hearing voices, and I said 'Yes, ma'am, I hear you talking to me right now.' And when she asked if I felt like hurting myself or anybody else, I said 'No m'dear, but I really am going to hurt the next person who asks me that question.'"

The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.

A Jewish anthropologist, Benny Steinfeld, was working in the desert near Israel when he happened upon an odd looking vase. After cleaning it he pried open the lid and was astonished when a genie sprang from the container and granted him 3 wishes. Steinfeld wished for enormous wealth, huge land holdings and a bevy of beautiful wives. All wishes were granted, but on one condition. Never again in his life could the anthropologist get a haircut or shave. To do so would mean instant imprisonment in the same urn in which the genie had been imprisoned. All went well during the first few years of his lavish lifestyle, but his beard and long hair became more and more of a problem. One day, during a m

An old Indian lined up all of his ten sons and stood in front of them. He then asked, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?" Nobody answered him. He then asked again, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?" And again nobody answered. The old Indian said, "I tell story of Georgie and Georgie father. Georgie chop down cherry tree. Georgie tell truth, Big Georgie no punish. Little Indian tell truth, I no punish." So the Indian asked again, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?" The littlest Indian replied, "I push port-a-potty over cliff. " The old Indian then shakes him, spanks him, does everything he can to punish him. When he is done, the little Indian asks, "Georgie tell truth, Georgie no get

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years old. Butterflies taste with there feet. Cats have over 100 vocal cords. Dogs have about 10. February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

There once was a captain of a ship, and every day at a certain time he would lock himself up in his cabin and look inside a mysterious black box. He did this every day, but he told nobody what was inside the box. Then one day he died, and in his testament he gave the crew permission to open the box. So they opened the black box, and what they found was a piece of paper: "Starboard is right, port is left."

# 1 In February 1878, the first telephone book was published in New Haven, Connecticut. The book was one page long and had fifty names in it. # 2 For more than 3,000 years, Carpenter ants have been used to close wounds in India, Asia and South America. # 3 In 2001, the five most valuable brand names in order were Coca-Cola, Microsoft, IBM, GE, and Nokia. # 4 The Sears Tower in Chicago contains enough steel to build 50,000 automobiles. # 5 Ninety-nine percent of pumpkins sold in the United States are for the sole purpose of decoration. # 6 The Arctic Tern, which is a small bird, can fly a round trip from the Arctic to the Antarctic and back. This can be as long as twenty thousand miles per