Two babies were born in the same hospital on the same day and ended up in adjacent basinettes in the nursery. Eighty-five years later, by coincidence, each of them is admitted to the same hospital with a "terminal" diagnosis, and they end up in the same two-bed semi-private room. And one of them rolls over and says to the other "So, what did you think?" Thanks to Steven Wright

Who composed the Unfinished Symphony? Sherbet.

Let's test your IQ............. 1. man ----------- board Ans. man overboard 2. stand ----------- i I understand ok?....get the drift? Let's try a few now & see how you fare. 3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/ Reading between the lines 4. r road a d Crossroad 5. cycle cycle cycle Tricycle 6. t

1. Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) was born on and died on days when Halley's Comet can be seen. During his life he predicted that he would die when it could be seen. 2. US Dollar bills are made out of cotton and linen. 3. The "57″ on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of pickle types the company once had. 4. Americans are responsible for about 1/5 of the world's garbage annually. On average, that's 3 pounds a day per person. 5. Giraffes and rats can last longer without water than camels. 6. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks so that it doesn't digest itself. 7. Ninety-eight percent of all murders and rapes are by a close family member or friend of the

Three kids were walking on a beach looking for shells when one of them finds a magic lamp. They rub it, and the genie that comes out said that each could fall into a pit of whatever they desired. The first guy said "Money and treasure" and then he was poofed into a pit of money and treasure. The second guy said "Pleasure, happiness, and electronics" and then he was poofed into a pit of pleasure, happiness, and electonics. Then the third guy (who was stupid and swore/cussed a lot) said "Ah CRAP!!! Those were my ideas!" and then he was poofed intoa pile of crap (or faeces, or poop, whichever you prefer calling it!)!

Using the BrainTracker grid below, how many words can you find? Each word must contain the central W and no letter can be used twice, however, the letters do not have to be connected. Proper nouns are not allowed, however, plurals are. There is at least one nine letter word. Excellent: 23 words. Good: 18 words. Average: 15 words. Common words: low, lower, lowlier, owe, owl, pew, pillow, power, prow, prowl, row, we, weir, well, will, willow, WILLPOWER, wipe, wiper, wire, woe, wore, wow. All words: low, lowe, lower, lowlier, lwei, ow, owe, owl, pew, pillow, plew, plow, plower, pow, power, prow, prowl, row, rowel, we, weir, well, wile, will, willer, willow, willower, WILLPOWER, wipe, wiper,

Fill in the blanks such that the second blank is the reverse action of the first one: The famous musician Mozart ________ symphonies when he was alive and __________ after he died. Composed and decomposed.

Three hunters, Chuck, Thomas and Mick, are on safari. Unfortunately they are captured by cannibals, who start getting the cooking pots ready. The cannibal chief tells them they can each have one last wish. "What's your last request?" he asks Chuck, an American. "I'd like a steak," he replies, so the cannibals kill a wildebeeste and serve Chuck with his steak. "What do you want?" the cannibal chief asks Thomas, a Londoner. "I'd like to smoke my cigar," which they let him do. Then the chief asks Mick, an Irishman, "What's your last wish?" "I want you to kick my bum." "Be serious," says the chief. "Please do it - you promised," says Mick. "OK," says the chief and delivers the requested kic

What starts with a p and ends with the letters orn? Popcorn! What were you thinking? What starts with a f and ends with the letters uck? Firetruck! What were you thinking? What starts with a b and ends with the letters itch? Bewitch! What were you thinking?

A tramp knocked on the door of a house. "What do you want?" said the owner. "Can you spare some money to help a poor person?" said the beggar. As soon he was given a few coins and told to go on his way, the beggar complained, "Your son gave me twice as much when I called here last week." "Well, my son can afford to," said the owner, "he has a very rich father."

The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and... If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them. Remember: you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar... Of course, how you spend your leisure time is your business. A man's best friend is his dog. That's assuming you want a friend who messes on your carpet and drools on your newspaper. If I won the lottery, I wouldn't be one of those people who immediately quit their jobs. I'd make